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cannot stop the tears tonight thinking about my friend.

Feeling helpless.

Hating lung cancer so much I could kill it with my bare hands if I could....

When my mom died...I fell into blackness...my best friend in the world and the person who loved me 100% unconditionally was gone.

SO much pain and sadness all I wanted to do was call HER and tell her about what I was feeling and going thru but I couldn't because she as gone...she was the reason I was feeling so sad and lost....

The lonliness was huge. Her absence was like a missing limb.

It's been a couple of years...but today I had that feeling again.

SO much has happened in my life the last couple of weeks and the one person I would call to gab about it to is laying in the hospital.......

I want to talk to her about all the things going on...hear her crazy laugh and be sarcastic and nutty and then pull a bit of wisdom out of her hat.

I want to tell her how horrible and helpless I am feeling right now....how I can't stop my tears....but I can't...because she is who I am crying for. She is the one in the hospital.

I miss her.

I miss my mom.

How could this happen again?

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Katie, I wish I had a balm to soothe your sorrow. I don't. Cancer is a killer, a heart breaker. My heart has been broken so many times, I don't even know how I've coped. My Dad, Mom, Sister, Aunt and Uncle.

I just found out another Uncle has cancer. And it has spread, and he's 70 and I don't know how he can fight it. My heart is breaking yet again.

I pray for you Katie. There are many here that would take your calls and be there for you. Just call my friend. Just call.

Judy in MI

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Katie...my heart is breaking for you and I am so sorry for the pain. Try and remember that you can always talk to your mom...that is something that can never be taken away. And, although it's definitely not the same, you can always talk to us. We've all been touched by the same kind of pain and although we may not have answers, we understand and are willing to listen. After I lost Dennis, I found the thing that helped the most was just having someone to listen to what I was saying.

We love you and are here for you!!!

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