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Update Connie 9/25 (Final)


KatieB

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Connie is at her home today. They've got a hospital bed and Hospice is coming/lined up.

She called me today. Wanted to be sure she had told me she loved me...she did....I did...

I'll post if/when things change.

Thanks for continued prayers.

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I cannot tell you how sad this is. When I first found this site in May of 09 - I was absolutely glued to it. I read every post - including all the old ones. Felt, like others here, that I came to know so many of the survivors. So many of the ones that passed through these "halls" and found support when needed - when the treatments didn't work. I read many many of Connie B's posts and looked up to her as one of the survivors and supporters that I hoped to become a part of. And now another "C" has attacked her and taken the wind from her sails...so to speak. I feel like I was so blessed to have read her story - and so saddened at the things that are to come. I hope that Katie, Connie and everyone that must be crying as they read this news and wait for the next bit of news - have the strength to know that every tear is a long distance hug because it has been so very easy to feel as though we know those that helped us.

Prayers and virtual hugs,

Annette

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I've kept up with all you updates, Katie. I've been quiet however. You see ~ it is quite difficult for me to fully comprehend that Connie is not her feisty, outspoken self. She has lifted me up more times than I can count. Her PM's and emails would come at unexpected times and brought smiles and support my way. I felt bathed in her warm and gentle hugs.

I recall the very first 'loss' I experienced here. It knocked me down kept me there for some time. And then there was the next one and the next one. This one will have me down forever, I think.

Please don't think my lack of response is lack of caring ~ for Connie and for you, dear Katie. At this time I am struggling with this and the fact that I am here 6 years later which is now causing increased survivor guilt.

Thanks for all you've been doing, Katie. Promise to come MY way when needed, okay? What a comfort to know.

L&T,

Kasey

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She would not want anyone to feel knocked down by what she has gone thru.

She wasn't supposed to make it 15 years ago.

She wasn't supposed to make it with her cardiac issues.

She wasn't supposed to make it when she developed a myxoma tumor on her heart.

She wasn't supposed to make it when she had to have surgery for her mitral valve replacement.

ALL of it was miraculous. She gave things away and got her affairs in order each time.

Everyday since those incidences she has lived as if it was a gift.

Please don't let any of this discourage any of you.

Please do not feel survivors guilt....she will be the first to tell you to live your life BIG and enjoy every second of it or "I will kick your A ss."

Who knows why things like this happen.

I question it everyday. I am PRAYING HARD for miracles for my dear dear friend and her family.

It's people like Connie and her survivorship all these years, YOU Kasey, you Annette, Geri, Linda, ALL of you, EVERYONE HERE who keep me going and keep me fighting for one more day....for a future where there is no lung cancer.

And by being here, YOU help others who come behind you.

Live your life BIG. and LOVE everyone in it.

(((Hugs)))

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Thanks for letting us know that Connie made it home. I am so grateful to you for keeping us posted. I know Maurie would be overwhelmed if all of us here in Minnesota were calling checking on her, for we all want to know how she is doing.

Thanks again for keeping us updated.

Donna G

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Wow Katie--your second post was the best tribute to Connie EVER. On this board it is hard to forget that life is a big circle--it begins and ends at the same point but in between what matters is how big a circle you draw. Connie's circle is very large and very loving. We are all so lucky to be drawn into her circle. The best way we can honor her is to draw big, loving, courageous circles of our own.

Love you Connie!

Susan

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Honestly - I felt like I was put in the corner Katie. Then I thought about it for a bit - and I realize that I did not mean (and I honestly don't think Kasey meant) that I am down because of what's to come. It meant that it allowed a cleansing cry - because you help us care about everyone here - - Connie B being one of the best ones on our list. Caring about everyone here is important - cause on bad days someone helps us get thru the day - and on good days we help someone get thru the day. I think that the tears that fell are important to fill up our cups again to help someone (even if it is ourselves) fight the next battle - I am thankful for the help given by some that are gone, thankful for the help given by some that are here, thankful that I may somehow be able to help the next visitor. I'm sure you can understand my wishing to give a moments pause to thank Connie for past help, remember and admire her strength all thru this horrible ride so that we might one day be as strong, helpful and thought so highly of. Would it not be nice to know that as we carry on here helping the next victims - we have past, present and future "heroes" of survivorship to admire and aspire to be.

Like you Katie as a caregiver-advocate-etc., like Connie and Kasey as people to admire and draw the strength from some days to go on. So I say - not that I am down because of this - I say that we are pausing in admiration, bowing our heads in recognition of a friend and preparing to try and be the hero she has grown to be for us.

Annette

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Email from Connie's husband this morning:

connie says good morning and have a nice day. Yesterday she had her best day so far.she ate really good and friends stopped over and had her up for about 4 hours. She's less grogy everyday and her eating is getting better. She wants to thank each and everyone of you for your prayers.

Thank you all Maurie

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My prayers are with Connie B, her friends and her family. I haven't been to the board much lately and I had no idea that it was "our" Connie B that Katie was posting about on FB until I saw pics the other day. I still can't find the words to express my gratitude toward Connie for all that she has given of herself to those of us in this forum. She is just an awesome lady, an inspiration and I hope she knows how much she is loved and admired . Wishing her many quality days ahead and sending lots of love and prayers her way.

Much love to Connie,

Sue

PS: Katie, your post was great.

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She is still not getting treatment and she IS on hospice.

It doesn't hurt to remind us Katie, particularly the cockeyed optomists like myself in the group. Am so glad though that she's feeling better and able to enjoy visitors.

Judy in KW

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I'm an optimist by heart too Judy...that post was as much for myself as anyone else. I have a tendency to hope so high that my heart is crushed when things go differently.

From the email messages I'm getting its going up and down.

She did not have subsequent good days.

But please still pray. And I am still hoping for miracles and MANY MANY days with her family to enjoy.

Thanks friends.

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OMG I had no idea it has come to this. But I do know what you said Katie is so true... She was one hell of a fighter.... she would not let anything get her down, no matter what she was told... and with everything she has been through (which was much too much for one individual to take) she has beaten those odds many many times.

She is such a wonderful, inspiration woman who lived her life to the fullest, even with all the deterents.

She will always hold a special place in my heart of hearts and I pray for her to feel comfort from her love ones and then to be a peace.

So many people have left us but Connie...It's hard to write this, as it is so hard to thiink of this board without our Connie...

I am very very sadden by this news and will keep her and her beautiful family in my prayers.

Maryanne

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Katie,

I am so sorry to hear about Connie. I will pray for you and her. You are a very strong, positive person and I admire you.

Hugs Hugs Hugs.

Libby

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Well I don't believe it, Connie has really improved over the last two days. Yesterday she sat on the couch for a few hours and after that a few friends stopped by and visited for a total of about four hours. To my amazement she was just a little tired. She's doing really good, and her appaitite has really gotten better. The only problem is that she's still weak and her blood work needs adjustment. Thank you everyone for your prayers. As usual Maurie
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