Ann Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I believe that someone posted a request for jokes....so here goes. Let's use this topic to post our best ones today. UCLA STUDY (very interesting and short) A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his butt while he is on fire. No further studies are expected on this subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted September 28, 2010 Author Share Posted September 28, 2010 A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dahknee Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Painfully hilarious.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Oh, I LOVE it! Lovingly tied with a silken string, where I would have opted for a staple gun... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 The second joke was funny but I'm still rolling from the first one--hilarious! Thanks Ann. Nice pic Katie. Judy in KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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