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My Mom is on Hospice now - please help


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Hello All

My Mother was dx with extensive sclc with mets in her liver one year ago. She had chemo (did well) radiation (did well) but then it was discovered that she had more than a dozen mets in her brain. Her oncologist tried Whole Brain Radiation and told us she had about 4 months left of life even if the Whole Brain Radiation went well. Two weeks ago she began to have brain seizures. She ended up in the hospital. Now, the Doc has sent us home saying that there is nothing more he can do for my Mom. So we are home now. Since the brain seizures she has been too weak to get out of bed. She sleeps most of the day and when awake is very confused about just about everything.

What I'm wondering is if I should give up and get ready for hospice effect to take over or is there something, ANYTHING I can do to help Mom continue her battle with small cell lung cancer.

Should I let her go, or should I fight?

Her quality of life is absymal at this point.

Please help if you have any ideas.

Thanks so much

Stephen A.

Son of Carole A.

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Good Morning Stephen,

Just read your post and felt so much for you I just had to respond.I am probably the least able of the buddies here to offer you the kind of help and information you need.I live in Scotland and I dont have the familiarity of the support systems you have in the States for helping you,but I know soon the buddies here will lend a hand.

You really cannot do this alone,in Scotland we have an organisation called the MacMillan nurses who would meet your needs 100% also the Marie Curie Hospice Centres,theres also social services who do home visits,who would look after your mums domestic needs,such as washing,dressing and some housework and shopping,maybe the buddies there can identify from my list what is availabe to support you through your difficulties.I am really sorry for what you are going through and only wish I could help you more,look after yourself as well,it would be so easy for this situation to take its toll on you.Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.God Bless.

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Hi Stephen,

My Mom had exactly the same situation as yours. She had SCLC and how we found it was when she had a Grand Mal Seizure. They did the radiation to the brain, just like your Mom, but it could only hold off the tumors for so long. We knew it was getting to the end when she was having more and more seizures, and getting lethargic, and confused.

We contacted Hospice, and they came in and helped us as we helped her stay as comfortable as possible in her last weeks of life. If she is sleeping most of the time, it is possible she is close to the end of her days here. It's time. Give Hospice a call. They will do an evaluation of her and let you know if in fact it is time, or if there is medication that can give her more comfort, or even improve her quality of life.

I'm so sorry Stephen. It's so hard to face this stuff.

Judy in MI

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Stephen, I'm so sorry for what you and your Mom are having to go through. By all means, call hospice. I have heard nothing but good of their services. And as Katie said, it doesn't require giving up anything, just ending treatment when there is no more to be offered.

Judy in KW

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Never used Hospice but have heard lots of great things! Its a tough call but For Moms sake it may be the best thing to do ! Let us know if and what we can do to help!

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