jwfbpc Posted October 21, 2010 Share Posted October 21, 2010 My sweet husband, Mark, was diagnosed with Stage 4 NSCLC in March of 2010 and fought so very, very hard. He just passed away on Friday, October 15th at 10:00 am at the age of 52. I was his champion through his treatment and stood by his side during the last days of his life - so I know I was strong and wonderful - but I miss him sooooo much and am angry that this terrible cancer has such little support. If there are others in my position who can tell me how they are surviving without the love of their life, help me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted October 21, 2010 Share Posted October 21, 2010 Hi and welcome here. First let me offer my deepest condolences on your husband, Mark's passing. So young. I kind of gulped when you said his age because that was the age I was when I was diagnosed. So sad, This disease is a horrid one that takes so many. You found a good place to see some hard work being done for advocacy for this disease. That is good and helpful to see progress when you are so sad and mad. I didn't lose my husband, but my Mom, Dad and Sister all died from cancer, with Mom's being lung. While my grief is different, for a spouse is an entirely different relationship, than parents or a sister, it's still gut wrenching grief. So my heart goes out to you. I pray for his memories to become a balm to soothe you when you are lonely for him. There are many women here that have gone through what you have, and they will be along shortly to give you more answer you need than I'm equipped to give. Take care, Judy in MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted October 21, 2010 Share Posted October 21, 2010 Hello and welcome. There are many here (unfortunately too many) who have walked your journey and can pass along their wisdome and support. I lost my mom on October 13 so am myself dealing with fresh grief, though not for a spouse. A little farther down on the main discussion board is a thread dedicated to those of us who are grieving. You are welcome to post anywhere you think appropriate, but I wanted to point you to that because that is where you will find many people who have also lost spouses and can offer their love and support. Trust me though, post where you feel like it and we will find you. I am so very sorry for your loss. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband almost 3 years ago. The only thing that was helpful to me in the beginning was talking to other people that had been through the same thing. Other women were a great support to me. If you go to the Grieving forum you will find lots of posts that will help you with things you have to do now, and how to get through this time. If you don't have a friend to talk to then read a book about how others got through things. I posted a great book in the Grieving forum. The beginning of this journey is so hard and extremely painful. A wise women on this board always posted "keep busy, keep busy" -- I took her advice and it helped keep the despair at bay. I am so sorry to welcome you to the club no one wants to join. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Every time I come on and see someone new who is just starting out on this journey of grief my heart almost stops. It takes me back and I am sure that will always happen. Living with the loss of anyone you love is a long and hard ride. In time it does get bearable but you never really get over it. We have all heard the platitudes like " He is in a better place" And "time will heal your heart" and "you have to move forward". If I tried hard enough I am sure that I could quote a hundred more. The truth is none of them help, none of them matter. You are in a place that you have to learn to cope with. I am not going to lie and tell you it will be easy or that you will "get over it" or that you need to "get on with your life". I am sure right now you feel that you have no life to get on with. Life pulled the rug out from under you. It takes time and work on your part to get your balance back so you can take those first tiny steps toward moving forward. My heart truly aches for you. I wish there was a magic pill that would get you past these first gut wrenching days but there is not. You have to go through them and grieve. Cry, scream and throw things. Do anything it takes for now and when the time comes you will know what to do that is best for you. As you have been told read the grieving section. There are I am sorry to say many of us who have been where you are and will offer a shoulder to cry on or a phone number when you really need one on one. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I know also in so many others. You have come to the right place. As for the anger. I think we could all write a book about the anger at the lack of support and those who rob us of hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van55 Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 My sweet husband, Mark, was diagnosed with Stage 4 NSCLC in March of 2010 and fought so very, very hard. He just passed away on Friday, October 15th at 10:00 am at the age of 52. I was his champion through his treatment and stood by his side during the last days of his life - so I know I was strong and wonderful - but I miss him sooooo much and am angry that this terrible cancer has such little support. If there are others in my position who can tell me how they are surviving without the love of their life, help me. My sincere condolences. The loss of a loved one is staggeringly hurtful. No way to make it better. May you find solace from your grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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