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So Lonely


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Its been a very lonely week as I have been busy with numerous small jobs for work. I havent had much time to be with my work people as I have been travelling and sorting out problems. When I get home I am tired and Pieter my housemate goes to bed early.

I have got so much time to think of Pat and how much I miss her.

This weekend is particularly bad as I normally try and go away but have nowhere to go .

Next Thursday is the start of the long pay weekend and I will be going home to Durban to continue with the kitchen renovation.

The following weekend I will be going to Johannesburg to enjoy my birthday present of the 30 minute flight in the Pitts special aerobatic plane.

When I have people around me I am distracted from the lonliness but it never leaves me completely

Thanks for understanding


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Ronnie, we've all needed the distraction of people at sad lonely times of our lives. It's difficult if you don't have a project and if I understand your working/living situation, when you are near work, it doesn't lend itself to having projects.

Have you ever had a hobby like woodworking or metal-working or even knitting. Men do that now lol. Years ago, I used to rely a great deal on crafty kind of things. Had the idea I'd whittle after I got cancer since I could never talk my husband into doing it. Got some little inexpensive supplies in a crate in my closet. Haven't touched them yet lol. Spend too much time in the computer.

Hope I distracted you for a few minutes with my craziness. Hope the weekend passes quickly for you. Sounds like you have the next two weekends covered.

Judy in KW

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When I am at home in Durban I have lots to do what with reovating the house etc. I am also very handy with electronics and can repair most things that give trouble.

The reason for not really having any hobby here at Ladysmith is that we do not have a lot of time at home except Sundays.

I have also found that when I really feel so bad I dont really feel like doing anything.

Knitting would not be for me. My wife was an exceptional knitter, embroiderer and loved doing crochet work especially beaded doilies.

I think that when we have our Christmas break and I have time to rest and also we have decided to scatter her ashes on the beach things might be better.

Thanks for listening


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We hear you. It sounds like you are doing a great job with grieving. I appreciate your reports - it's important to hear that you are working, having small moments of enjoyment, and have things to look forward to. It's a bit of fun for us to hear from another corner of the world. The beach in December? I was thinking how cold and wet that would be. But silly me - that is summer for you, yes?

Best to you,


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Ronnie, well, whether you believe it or not, I can see you moving more and more into new routines, and finding new things to do. The lonliness and sadness will never go away, but with time, they will get easier. Keep up the good work, and keep posting here. WE like to hear from you.

Judy in MI

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Hi Ronnie,

I really feel your loneliness,I think we should put all our heads to-gether to find new activities/distactions for infilling those down moments.I really believe that in such a crowded planet,there are so many people for a whole range of different circumstances are in the same position as yourself,if only we could identify these people and bring them to-gether.Wait a minute,those people who had the courage and gave themselves that extra push to get out there and get involved have found their own reward.Ronnie,I dont know your geography and the social activities that people follow in your neck of the woods,how about as a start you could advise us here,what we could do if we lived near you,to get out and about,outside working hours,to get involved in a club,evening leisure class at your local college anything at all that you might find something of interest.I know you may think of my post as Dont tell your Grannie how to suck eggs,but really sometimes its the simplest things that can make a difference,all you need is just a bit of confidence to get out there and meet some other human beings who are in the same boat as yourself,who are also looking for some support.By losing yourself in helping others to overcome their loneliness you will lose yours.

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