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Neat experiences in the dying process


LolasDaughter

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My mom passed away last Monday, 1/10/11, 3.5 years after her SCLC diagnosis. As I continue to grieve, I am so comforted by a number of experiences I had with Mom in her last days. Eight days before she passed, she told me 'I am done fighting. I cannot fight anymore!' and then later 'You need to go on ahead without me and leave me behind. It's okay; you need to leave me behind.' This in the same night when the dr asked where she was she said 'at a summer camp with my daughter'. So at the time, I reasoned Mom was confused and feeling the effects of her pain meds. But then her condition continued to go down hill and two days later she was under hospice care. Suddenly her works took on a whole new meaning. And the brought me comfort!

In addition, days before she went to the hospital, during the night, she woke my Dad in the middle of the night, asking him where Beulah Land was. He didn't know what she was talking about and told her to go back to sleep. Neither had ever heard of it before and so they decided to Google it the next day. It means 'Heaven'. That evening Dad followed an ambulance as they took Mom to the ER for her last trip to the hospital.

I guess you can logically explain these events away, but I find such comfort in knowing Mom, at some level, knew what was happening and even in death, mothered me and let me know she was ready and I needed to just deal! :) What I am amazed by is I'd never heard 'positive' stories of death and dying. I know it isn't always, but I found it can be peaceful, beautiful and awesome! Why don't people talk about that part of it?

I believe we were given special gifts in these events (and there are others I won't bore you with) but I can't believe we're the only ones. What stories do you have that brought you peace, comfort any maybe even joy in your loved one's last days?

Nicole

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My dad was virtually comatose the last several days. Then I saw him move his mouth as if to talk..,he moved his lips together and slowly he smile the most beautiful smile then took his last breath..,,I was so shocked and amazed at him smiling I hadn't realized he had taken his last breath.

I believe that was a last gift for us...wonderful to have such a peaceful passing.

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I wasn't close enough to intrude into the circle of friends that were on guard when an acquaintance died last year, but one of my coworkers was there that evening. J had been bedridden for a few days and had stopped eating and drinking, but friends continued to sit by her side and tell stories, or sit quietly with her. For many hours, her eyes were closed and she appeared to sleep. My coworker who saw her said J's eyes opened and she felt bathed in this wonderful light and spirit, just being there with her.

I was at the service where some of her women friends (men too) spoke of the last weeks - the humor J maintained, the absolute flow of love and adoration that was passed between them all.

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