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Did anyone else do this or something similar?


Andrea

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I often need humor to cheer myself up. Kind of like try to laugh at myself or I would be crying all the time. Well today my mom finished her 3rd cycle and I was reflecting back to the beginning, a PC (pre cancer) time, when I took everything forgranted, back in Nov 2003.

When my mom was diagnosed, I looked into the following and now I am actually laughing at myself. Keep in mind that the diagnosis was a surprise, she was not sick, and was mobile and working like a maniac.

I immediately:

1. Called private ambulance companies to get prices and see if I could have them on call and how quick they could respond if my mom needed to go to the hospital during treatment b/c she is not being treated at her local hospital.

2. I priced hospital beds and mentally reconfigured the downstairs of her house, thinking she may not be able to climb stairs

3. I called people to price an elevator chair for the staircase

4. I bought tons of hats, like her hair was going to fall out that second and there would be a shortage of hats

5. I looked into wheelchairs at the mall in case she wanted to be wheeled around b/c she is a shopper and wanted to pick out wedding accessories.

How insane is that?????? The ONLY logical thing I did was get her a handicap placard. Yes, I do realize, there is always a chance she might need all of that stuff, heck I could get hit by a car on the way home, but it is not as immediate as my mind was going. I look back now and kind of laugh at myself.

Thanks for listening to me babble about my neurosis :)

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I did it too. We shopped on ebay for a wheelchair when my dad first started feeling tired because we thought insurance would take to long to approve one, and heck what if we needed it right away? thought I was being pro-active on that one, even though he didn't need it for a few MONTHS.

I always had lists of things to do or buy and plan "b's"

I bought all kinds of things and that Christmas last year, I bought all kinds of stuff and continually thought those negative what-if thoughts..... I think the neurosis is completely normal. It's because we care so much.

Just remember this, in the beginning of my dad's dx...we were so into the possible "dying" aspect that we wasted that time we could have used "living". I'm glad that 3-4 months after his dx., I gave up some of that neurotic behavior (not the medical side, but the emotional side) and got to really enjoy life with him every second I could.

You could say I became neurotic about getting to know the "real" man behind my dad, talking to him as much as I could, going out together as much as we could, having parties for my parents and pictures-lots of pictures-- Neurotic --like I was trying to squeeze 20 years into only 1.

Now look- I've gone off in a totally different direction..Sorry. :shock:

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Andrea, none of that information is wasted. So store it for future reference, if needed. Your behavior is "normal". When cancer hits, something we can't control, we do things that we can control to feel back in control -- such as what you did. You needed to do that for yourself, to feel you were helping in some way. So don't worry about it.

Yes, it is good to look back and laugh. Laughter helps get us through a lot of this. My wife and I talked about whether we would remarry when one of us passes away. We decided "No" -- too much time and effort to cultivate a new relationship! Well, of course, we would not be held to that, but we can laugh at it. We joke a lot to keep us going. It is a good asset for you to have. Best to you and Mom. Don

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My wife is into the "picture" thing right now. Now, keep in mind we've NEVER been big picture takers the whole 19 years we've been together. But now, all of a sudden, she has to have a picture of me just about EVERYWHERE! (I put my foot down about the bathroom though :)). Since we have a digital camera and *I'm* the one who prints all these out I'm beginning to wonder if my poor little cheapo HP Deskjet is gonna handle the load much longer. :)

Dean

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I think we all go shopping for the days we know will be there

too soon.

Mike and I went to buy some beautiful pajamas and slippers

in case he had to go to the hospital, the clerk, surprised at the

price we were ready to pay asked Mike, if he was getting married

and going on a trip.

Mike answered, married I am, going on a trip yes.

The clerk wanted to know where he was going.

Mike told him as it was going to be his last trip, he wanted the best

and that he was soon going to die from lung cancer.

The clerk nearly fainted.

We left laughing like fools.

Many of our shopping trips turned in hilarious times, that I still

cherish now.

Laughter always helped us in the tight spots.

J.C.

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