ronvrens Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 When I was at home last weekend I made the decision to start sorting through Pats clothing and bits and pieces. Somehow it seemed to me that the time has come not to get rid of her possesions but as I have now accepted that she will never come back to rather let go of these items that still cause longing and grief. Yesterday I sorted through the clothes and lovingly packed them up and then took them to the Hospice and donated them. In this way I will be assisting them to help others that need the type of care we are not always able to give. I have kept a few Items that bring back good memories and just as a reminder of our love for each other. I am still saddened by the calous remarks of some people that say things like 'why dont you just throw all Pats stuff away' do they think that would make me forget her. I prefered to do it with dignity and at the time whe I felt it was right. It was not easy making that decision but I feel that it was right. There are still many things to go through and I would like to make the rite choice as to what must be discarded and what kept. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric byrne Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Hi Ronnie, There are few men who are left to carry out this task for a lost wife,I have always joked that men always go first to give the women the last word.Hope that is not offensive to you at this moment.I have had to do this task previously for both my mother and my wifes parents,sad as that is,I know it cannot compare to your task. Your decision to pass on Pats clothes to others that are less fortunate in this world is one where I am sure has Pats blessing. I do wish for you a return to the happiness that you had from life in Pats company,it may never be the same but you owe it to yourself and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkala Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Hi Ronnie, I think it's great you honored Pat by helping others. I held onto all my moms clothes for several years before I realized they were just items and the important things were my memories and the few items that helped preserve them. Don't let anyone tell you what to do, it's whatever is right for you and WHEN it's right for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Such a tough task. I applaud your big step taken in your time. Hang in there! And folks who don't get it...well, it's just unfortunate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Hi Ronnie, I think you have handled this with grace and dignity, and honored Pat's memory with the donation. It's healthy for you to do this, when it feels right for you, not anyone else! What a gentle soul you are. Take care, MI Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annette Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I don't see how anyone can say anything bad about how you get through this horrible "process" of grieving. Every post you have made makes me think how I hope I could handle things as well and graciously as you. Your donating Pat's things to hospice is not only a wonderful idea - it may even become one of those happy memories. I hope that you continue to have good memories to share - Annette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy66 Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Ronnie, I applaud you for the very loving way that you went through Pat's things. Carefully selecting those items that are most important and meaningful to you and allowing her other belongings to go for the benefit of others is truly wonderful. Such a hard task that I'm not quite ready to do yet. It weighs on my mind that the day will evenutally come. Katy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Well done, Ronnie. I don't think you could ask more of yourself than your are giving to working your way at your pace through this terrible grieving process. Judy in KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laban Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Ronnie, You're stronger than you know. People live and people die. This is just how it goes. You and Pat had something very special and you were blessed because of that. Live for the good memories. God be with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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