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Adult truths


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1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option..

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 19 74. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

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Thanks Paulette,

Loved your list and concur,No 20,each evening going home from work,I reach the tail end of the line of cars feeding into the on ramp to the M8,usually takes about 10-15mins of patiently waiting your turn,always every night,someone nips down the outside lane which has no access to ther onramp lane,but just tries to force their way in,most people bunch up to prevent them-hooray-but why is it there always some in the line,who out of some misguided do-gooding let them in? ooh it drives me nutty.Anyway,just retired on Friday,no more rush hour on ramps to the M8 for me Whoopie-do.

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These were fantastic!

#4 - Sarcasm font, wouldn't that be great?

#7 - Mapquest - Yes!!!!!

#8 - Yes, I'm always bummed when I can't tell by the charity they ask you to support, just guessing that was their demise. A little dark humor, but true!

#14 - yes, my brother. LOL

#23 for sure, snooze button is my favorite.

#24 - cracked me up! Had to share that with Hubby!

Judy in MI

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#10 can lead to the best #8 stories..."And after they removed the jumper cables from his nipples..."

#14 - AMEN, can I get an AMEN?? LOL

#16 and the later the hour, the harder the liquor!

#24 Took 'em over 100 years to realize their head hurt, but since their brain lives lower, that was much easier to figure out...(see #16 - and #8!)

#25 Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.

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