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first birthday without my mom-figure/friend


KatieB

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so this will be my first birthday without a mom figure/friend.

Most of you know how close my mom and I were. We were best friends, inseperable and everything we did, we did together...my first birthday without her was one of the hardest days of my life....and what made if bearable was my friend ConnieB....she sent me cards and called me and yelled a little and laughed a lot and made me forget, for little moments, that I was sad...and to celebrate my birthday.

I don't think I would have gotten thru any of that without her....

And this week, I will be having my first birthday without her...my dear friend and surrogate mom.

I feel sad about that.

I'm reading her cards she sent me from last year....

Her husband called me to wish me an "early" happy birthday. I missed the call so he left a message and was just in tears....it sounded like he really was missing Connie and sharing a sad moment with me.

When I called him back he said he was "sorry" he was just having a "moment" but he is really fine....the reason he was calling me early was because he would be in the Bahama with his LADY FRIEND on my birthday. WHY did he even say that to me? It's not ok with me. He could have just said nothing.

Boo. Just Boo.

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Katie,

I wish that I could be there to hug you and comfort you and make you forget for a moment that both the important women in your life are now gone. Oh how I wish we lived closer to each other. My best friend's dad died on her birthday and she stopped celebrating at all until she met me. I made her celebrate and made her birthday special every year. She thanks me now for making her realize that she could still enjoy a birthday.

I could call you on Wednesday and sing to you but then your phone would be broken!!

Hugs,

Paulette

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Ah, birthdays...

What can you do on your special day to remember the moms in your life? What would Connie tell you to go and do?

My counselor once told me the blessing of having someone in your lif for so long is you don't actually need them to be there to know exactly what they would say...so if you picked up the phone and said, "you know I really want to celebrate but I miss you...what should I go do?" She'd say_____?

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Going off of what Nick said, they both would say "we love you, darling Katie. We are so proud of you for the work you are doing in our memories. Do not get discouraged for the work you are dong is making a huge difference in so many other's lives. Again, Katie, we love you." From Mom's in heaven.

We do too Katie.

Judy in MI

P.S. Early Happy Birthday from me! Paulette and I could both conspire and sing to you, but my voice is definitely worse than hers! LOL! That's be quite the treat for you!

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Happy Birthday! You're reminding me that I will be celebrating my first birthday without my mom in a couple of weeks. Just to bring a different perspective, one of the hardest parts of my grieving has been seeing my Dad adjust to being without his soulmate. It's heartbreaking. And I hope I can celebrate with him should the day come that he finds someone to share his life with.

Maybe Connie would feel the same.

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