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sent a card to my friends husband


KatieB

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I just wanted to let you guys know that I removed the original thread. Not because of anything I said or any regrets I have.

I absolutely do not regret sending the card and letting him know how I felt and he totally understood how I felt.

I conveyed to him in a very non judgemental way that I was still grieving and I wasn't strong enough to support him and wasn't ready to be a part of his new adventures. He got that.

I don't pretend to know what he is doing and he doesn't have much of an idea either-- other than he is doing whatever he can to move on. Good for him.

I'm doing what I can to grieve the loss of my friend and get thru that. Good for me.

I removed the original post at the suggestion of someone becuase of some of the replys but really my friends husband has never been on this site and would never know that I had written the thread or even cared one way or the other.

He told me clearly he wanted nothing to do with lung cancer or advocacy as long as his lived but wanted a relationship with me and loved me.

I guess I will see how that goes.

This forum is for all of us who are grieving and I am thankful to those of you who took the time to let me vent and were supportive of my feelings during this difficult time.

That's what LCSC is all about.

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Katie, if you can't vent here then you can't vent anywhere ... thank you for this site/forum as there are many times when just reading it helps me to vent, even when I don't comment or say anything.

I get what you are going through, my Dad took a woman to Fla. about 6 months after my Mom died after 39 years of marriage, and married her within 14 months of my Mom's death (from ovarian cancer). I was devastated. His explanation to me was virtually the same, that he had to get over it and he did not want to be alone, and that I should get over it too. I knew the new lady, she was a nice woman but I never could accept her even after they were married for a number of years, due mainly to the speed of the whole affair (if I can call it that). Many of my Dad's oldest friends told me the same thing in confidence, and seemed to understand how poorly I took it. It was as though it were an insult to the 39 years he had spent with my Mom and to the devotion she had shown to him. So -- long story short -- don't feel badly about the way you feel, just mourn the way you have to do bacause you are you, not him, and don't feel any obligation to accept the decision(s) he makes, just do what you need to do. And good for you!!! (((hugs))))

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