I'll give you one!

[Nick C]

I'm a little more forgiving of the "did she smoke" question. However this weekend I was pushed.

Someone at the church asked how may golf tourney went. Which I appreciate. Here's how it went post golf chat:

Person-This was your dad?

Me-No my mom

Person - Well did she do something that led to her getting lung cancer (already accusatory in tone, versus the typical inquisitive "did she smoke" question.)

Me - Well, no one asks for lung cancer you know.

Person - Well you aren't answering my question (oh but I did, but I'll give you what you want).

Me - Well, as a woman born in 1950, yes she smoked like so many women of that era...she also lived in a house that was over the top in radon readings so who knows. Either way, no one did anything illegal.

Person - Well wouldn't it just be better to use the money you raise to get people to quit smoking? (Wow, let's push this further) After all as I understand it once you have lung cancer you're dead anyway. (OK, and now we can all see public perception and lack of understanding of the science not to mention lack of soft skills).

Me - Well, how many people a year do you think are non smokers ....(I go through the stats and explain how if you catch this cancer like other cancers early things are treatable, and then I get to the point with "person"). But don't you see what you have done...you didn't care to even imagine that this was a treatable cancer, because you think of it as the cancer you ask for. That's why we raise money, because of misunderstanding like you just showed about this disease.

We talked a little further, but it set me off a bit. I've only encountered this a couple of times I can recall where people didn't automatically get the "no one asks for lung cancer" type response. Usually people see that their thinking could be not quite developed on the LC topic. But a few just don't see it.

I was again reminded of what someone here once said. When saying that their loved one died of lung cancer, the person they were talking to said, "Oh, well what was he like?" That is the best follow up question you can ask.

[ts]

Nick,

Such a good son and thanks, from me too.

[ginnyde]

And thanks from me too Nick.

[Joppette]

Get 'em Nick. I remember when I was a newbie here. I was quite angry over the "did you smoke" question. Katie taught me that the best way to respond is to quote the statistics to them. When they hear that 60% of all new lung cancers are in people that never smoked, or quit 20 years or more ago, it usually causes a pause. But when I tell them that lung cancer is the #1 killer of all cancers, and yet it is the most underfunded of them in terms of research, I usually lose them at that point.

Then I gracefully step off my very LARGE soap box and move on.

MI Judy

[Kasey]

I would have told him that I was sorry the golf tourney didn't make enough money to fix his 'stupid' !!!!!!

Wow!

Kasey

[RandyW]

My late wife told someone when asked if she still smoked, Only If I am on fire!!

[ellakc2]

Hi everyone,

Haven't posted in a while. My aunt passed of LC and never touched a cig in her life. No one in her home smoked either. Although she did have 9 children and cleaned alot LOL. I bet all those chemicals had something to do with the LC. So I ask people when then asked if I smoked, do you clean?

A special shout out to all our pioneers who have been on the site for yrs. Iam doing great!! Still clean ,thank God and I am as busy as ever. I do give our website to LC cancer patients. I talk to people struggling every day. Take care everyone and I will try to post more often.

Love ,

Ellack2 (Mare)

[jaminkw]

I'm throwing in with Kasey.

Judy in KW