ronvrens Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Is it too soon I have started a relationship with an old friend of mine. She lost her husband 8 years ago and we just happened to once again start corresponding.\What was just chattibg has escelated into a deep friendship. We will be going away for a weekend and will decide from there what we want and if we are suited for each other. I know that I said there will never be anyone else but the lonliness has become unbearable and I think this friend has something in common as she is also a widow. I will never forget Pat and she will always be a part of my life. Thanks for listening. We are all in the same situation and sometimes need a word of encouragement. Love you all for being there when the burden is the greatest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ts Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Hi Ron, I think it is a question only you can answer. My Dad started a relationship sometime in the first year after my Mom died. The unfortunate thing was he did not tell his 3 kids until he announced he had proposed! That was the shocker. He got married about 15 or 16 months after her passing. They stayed married until she died about 17 years later and he had the joy of helping raise some grandchildren his own kids didn't provide. I know he made a huge difference in the lives of that second family - and they in his. We like being here for happiness too - keep us posted and may love bloom again for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dianew Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I don't think it is too soon at all, although Stephanie is right and that is a question only you can answer for yourself. I know I've told this story before - my grandparents were very happily married for more than 65 years when my grandmother died. My grandfather became very close to a widow whom he had known for quite some time. While they never officially married because of "estate" reasons, they had almost 10 wonderful years together taking trips, and living life to the fullest. He died 10 years later in his mid 90s. No one could ever take my grandmother's place, but grandad was very healthy and had years left to live and none of us ever doubted that my grandmother would have been very happy to know he wasn't alone and had someone to share the rest of his life with. I wish you the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 never too soon and congrats ! If you are both happy and content let it ride and it will work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Hi Ron, I'm with the others. Pat would not want you to be sad and lonely. My Mom fell in love after my Dad died, and it was a deep, sweet love. It was different from the relationship she had with Dad, because she and the man who married her were older. We were very happy for her when she found our Step-Dad and we loved him deeply. I wish the best for you! MI Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Ron, I couldn't be happier for you. Your love for Pat came through in all your posts and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be alone forever. I hope your children are on board. That can sometimes be a sticky-wick but as Stephanie said, keeping it a secret isn't usually the way to go. Hope the weekend goes well and you move comfortably into a new phase in life. Judy in KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronvrens Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 Yhank you everyone for the great comments. Firstly the whole family are aware of our relationship and the kids are thrilled as they know her. The only thing that will make it difficult is me being away for 10 weeks at a time We eill start our relationship as two independant people and when the time is right we will make a decision for the future Thank so much Love you all Ronnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric byrne Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hi Ronnie, I am absolutely pleased to hear of your new relationship,I wish both of you all the very best for love, happiness and a long future to-gether. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 So happy for you that the family is onboard with the relationship. I think it really helps. As far as the separations are concerned, Stan and I are married almost 48 yrs. He traveled extensively during much of that time. It was hard when the kids were young but you don't have that issue. It's a very individual thing but doesn't have to be a relationship-breaker. Good luck to you and your lady. Judy in KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronvrens Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 Well one week to go here in Ghana and then off home for two weeks. I will be so happy to be back as I miss my family and friends. I have been moved from one site to another and now have to make new friends and get used to the new place and routine. Lots to do when I arrive back in South Africa. i will be met in Johannesburg by my daughter and my ladyfriend Erica. Wait for the connecting flight to Durban and get home to see how everything is. Lots to do. Must visit doctors and dentist and get all the supplies I need to bring back with me. On Friday morning I fly up to johannesburg and Erica and I leave for our holiday destination. Hopefully this time will decide if we are suited for each other and can really have a good relationship or not. I know it could never be the same as with my first love and wife but I do not want to compare. On The next Tuesday we return to Johannesburg and I fly back to Durban. Do some more chores and on Friday back to Johannesburg for a weekend with the children. On Sunday back to Durban for the final odds and ends and on Tuesday Fly out to Johannesburg and Ghana. All in all a busy time but I hope enjoyable. The next visit home will be for a week over the Christmas time and then believe it or not work for about 6 weeks and back home for 2 weeks. Then its 10 weeks here and 2 at home. Well thats the news from my side Go well all Ronnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Glad to hear your well Ron! Enjoy the down time and Holiday!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Ron, hope you have a great homecoming and vacation. I'm still optomistic about your new relationship. If the lady has been alone and doing well as an independent woman, your traveling may not be a deal breaker. I can remember times when my children were older and he'd be home for a stretch of time, I'd ask my husband on occasion, "don't you have someplace you need to go?" lol. I love him but that's when I got to do me things. Judy in KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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