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Posted

Gripe sheets for plane mechanics:

>

>

>

> After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet,

>

> which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane

during

> the flight. The mechanics read and corrected the problem, and then

explained

> in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was

taken.

The

> pilot then reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

>

>

> Here are some 'actual' maintenance problems submitted by pilots and

the

> solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, this

company is

the only

> major airline that has never had an accident.

>

>

>

> P = The problem logged by the pilot S = The solution and

>

> action taken by the engineer

>

>

>

> P: Number 3 engine missing.

>

> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

>

>

>

> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

>

> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

>

>

>

> I love this one!

>

> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

>

> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

>

>

>

> P: Something loose in cockpit.

>

> S: Something tightened in cockpit.

>

>

>

> P: Dead bugs on windshield.

>

> S: Live bugs on back-order.

>

>

>

> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet-per-minute

descent.

>

> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

>

>

>

> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

>

> S: Evidence removed.

>

>

>

> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

>

> S: DME volume set to more believable level.

>

>

>

> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

>

> S: That's what they're there for.

>

>

>

> P: IFF inoperative.

>

> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

>

>

>

> P: Suspected crack in windshield.

>

> S: Suspect you're right.

>

>

>

> This one is hilarious.

>

> P: Aircraft handles funny.

>

> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

>

>

>

> P: Target radar hums.

>

> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

>

>

>

> P: Mouse in cockpit.

>

> S: Cat installed.

>

>

>

> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget

pounding

> on something with a hammer.

>

> S: Took hammer away from midget.

>

Posted

Thanks Dave, :D:D:D:D:D:D

I liked taken the hammer from the midget!! :shock:

God bless

Bobmc- NSCLC- stageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01

MRI's taken 12/18/03 - 2 brain mets found- named em Frick & Frack

PET taken 1/5 - hot spot in mediastinum May be cancer??

"Absolutely insist on enjoying life today!"

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