Sunday's Air

[KatieB]

Happy July!!

It's the start of the second half of the year....I say I can make resolutions in July too! Yes I can!

My resolutions are to post more, see more, do more and enjoy more....just MORE>

How about you? Are arr your half-year resolutions?

Hugs and more hugs and Happy Sunday.

KatieB

[curlysue50]

It is funny you would post about resolutions today. I had something on my mind on my way from a shopping trip that included trying on some clothes. I was not sure if this would be a "Just for Fun" topic or more serious, but since Katie opened the window on resolutions, here it is:

During 2011 while I was trying to get diagnosed and finally went through chemotherapy I lost about 85 lbs. Don't worry, I had the weight to lose. But, once I started my Xalkori and I could eat again, in February 2012, I started to gain back weight. I was on a binge for about 2 months, just so thrilled to be able to eat and taste food again. It crept up on me and right now I think I put back on about 30 lbs. And I seem to be stabilized. It bothered me, but I did not feel terrible about it until a few weeks ago when my husband was shopping with me. I asked his opinion between 2 sizes of a jean jacket. His reply was,"It depends on how much weight you plan to gain back,". My heart fell to the floor, but I didn't say anything. I bought the larger size. I know the day will come, when my therapy won't work anymore. When I won't be able to eat or I will have to do chemo again. But now with that one little statement, I can feel my disapointment in myself for not having more self control. Has anyone else had this kind of experience? I feel like the day will come again when my doctor will be saying again to me,"We really don't want you losing any more weight,". I am not there right now and am carrying this GUILT around with me. Wondering if I need to make a RESOLUTION (you were wondering when I would get back to that) to try and lose the weight I put back on. I know it is not healthy for me, but it feels like my HEALTH has already been taken from me.

I guess I really got away from FUN with this topic, but it seems more personal than medical, even though it is a mixture of both. Good news is I did stop binging and have been eating pretty well last month or so. Just wondering if anyone else had dealt with this issue? Cancer is a pretty extreme diet plan! I would not recommend it to anyone.

Susan

[KatieB]

Men can be dense sometimes (sorry men) so I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings,,,I will say that we are harder on ourselves than anyone else....I don't recommend a lose - weight resolution for those in treatment personally, what I do recommend is being as healthy as you can be with your choices while still enjoying your quality of life...move more than you sit, love more than you argue, and pamper yourself everyday in many little ways....that's my resolution for you!

xoxo

[curlysue50]

Thanks, Katie:

I was pretty sure the hurt was not intentional. And I am pretty sure his watching what I eat, has good intentions too. He does not want me to gain more. I have always been very hard on myself when it comes to my imperfections. I think if I want to make the most of my survival time I will need to love and accept myself more. That can be a tough one sometimes. But, it will be necessary because there are some very hard choices to make when you have cancer. Hard things to accept and hard things to do. Things you would only do if you love yourself very much. So, I will keep trying and try to accept help and not see it as critisism. I am trying to be a better person, and treat others with more love and patience. I will try to treat myself the same way.

Susan