Monday's Air

[Janet B]

Good morning everyone!

I have not been here for a few days, because I have been getting every possible second out of this beautiful weather! That means that I have been pretty much living at the beach. I am blessed enough to have the choice of the Sound (salt water) or a lake. I think I have it down to a combo, lake during the heat of the day to enjoy the shade tees and the warm salt free water and then the Sound in the late afternoon early evening to watch the sunset. Rough life I lead!

The weight discussion that went on here yesterday I totally get. First of all I agree with Katie, men can be dense sometimes. Seriously our minds just don't work the same and we should just give up trying to believe they do! As for the weight question, here was my dilemma. I was on a diet when I was diagnosed and had just lost 20 pounds, with probably another 35 to go. BUT, my husband, sister and children were all there when my doctor said we don't want you to lose anymore weight. To me that was more punishment, but my family took it very seriously and got on my case whenever they thought I wasn't eating enough or had lost a pound or two. Then I had to go on steroids and I gained that original 20 right back. I felt bad enough with the side effects of Tarceva, being overweight, by a lot, just made me even more depressed. Since I have been on Avastin, however, the foods I love just don't interest me anymore. Things like potato chips, chocolate, McDonalds, and soda just don't taste the same. So, in the last few months I have lost 25 pounds. My family is alarmed, my doctor hasn't mentioned it and I feel better and more confident than I have in years. I told my worried children that I still could lose another 20 and still have 20 extra to work with and that calmed them down a bit. I am not worried, because on top of the weight loss, it seems to only be junk food I no longer like, I could eat a whole watermelon, a couple of pounds of cherries and a dozen peaches (and I have always hated peaches). So I figure I am healthier now too.

My half year resolution Katie, is to stop worrying so much about what other people expect from me and to (nicely) stop letting them do things for me that I really don't want done (sometimes "help" isn't exactly "help".) And instead, start putting myself first. That will be a hard one for me. But I am tired of being tired trying to keep up with all the "helpfulness"!

Today I am going to quick-clean the kitchen, then off to the lake, then the Sound and then home for chicken on the barbecue. I have my sister and her husband coming on Thursday, and my daughter and her boyfriend for the weekend so I plan to just do a little bit of cleaning each morning and not stress about it or what food I need to serve them. I live for summer and I am not giving up beach time!

I hope you all have peaceful days!!