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Monday's Air


Ann

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Good Monday morning, everyone. Those are really unusual words, especially coming out of my mouth....lol. Everyone knows how badly I hate Mondays but I'm trying to make the best of today. I just saw a cute little saying on FB.....Mondays are like garbage trucks....you know they're coming but they stink anyway!!!

I hope everyone will jump in and participate in the word games that I have started....again. I know we all have a lot on our minds and Lord knows there has been more than enough sadness here lately but we need to carry on in an effort to those that have been loyal forum followers, as well as new members.

If you have any games or ideas, please feel free to start them. We used to always have a good Joke of the Day....if anyone is up for that!!!

Have a great day and let's keep this forum rolling!!!

Ann in Florida

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Good Afternoon!

I have had so much company the last few days that I ended up in bed by 10 and slept til 11 a.m.! now it is 12:30 and I have barely moved. Everyone wants to visit the "sick person", but because I do not look or act "sick" they tend to forget. So, I do the cooking and cleaning and hostessing and between cancer and growing older, I am just not up to it anymore! I was supposed to have my little 5 year old buddy visit for the week, but they had to cancel, I am a little disappointed, but actually very relieved!

Today is a beautiful day, blue sky, 80 degrees, cool sea breeze. I will spend the afternoon in my garden and then head out to the city for my support group which meets at 5:30. The rest of the week I plan to sleep at the beach!

Have a beautiful Monday

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Hello Ann and Janet,

It's a balmy 84 here on the coast of Virginia, which is better than the 90's we have been living with for far too many days. We have inadequate ac at my house, just one small unit in one room and we aren't loving the heat at all.

Ann, thanks for starting the word game. I always loved all your games and I hope once everyone, old and new members, have caught on to them being here that they will become the hit that they always were in the past.

Not motivated to do much today, but will be heading out to run some errands with my oldest son , in just a little while. Have a good day all.

Hugs,

Sue

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Good Evening Everyone,

Sorry but my posts here have slipped a bit recently,I have just been so busy,anyway, here in the UK we are experiencing our wettest Summer ever since records began,my toes are becoming webbed and feathers are growing on my body,quack,pardon,sorry about that,when will the sun return?.

Well my neice Lianne,gave birth to a baby boy early Friday morning,he is named Zane Burrell Clarke,a little brother for Max,and great nephew to me,welcome to the Planet Earth Zane,we are going to have such fun getting to know each other.

Grandfather Pat,enjoyed one of his 60th Birthday presents on Sunday,we all went to Inglestone Race track in Edinburgh,to watch him driving some super classic race cars around the track,methinks Randy will be interested in the cars, Aston Martin DB9,Mazzeratti,Lambourgini,gosh I forgotten the other one?,never mind Randy I will post in the pics shortly,you'll probably know it.

Some months ago I mentioned of applying for a part time job for front of the house in the shortly to reopen John Wilson Theatre in Airdrie,which has undergone a major refurbishment.Think the job is to wear a Tuxedo and be a meeter and greeter to all the theatre goers,well I have appeared on the stage of this theatre for years,appearing in such productions as Fiddler on the Roof,Call Me Madam,Hello Dolly,42nd Street,oh enough of my credits,get on with the story.Well the weeks passed,since I sent in my application form and CV,I heard nothing,my daughter said Dad,it happens all the time now,so many people unemployed writing in for jobs,employers dont even acknowledge their applications,well call me old fashioned,but that never happened when I was younger.Well what do you know?, they have asked me to attend for interview tomorrow,gosh I feel like a kid just out of school on my first interview,been years since I had one,well at least for this post I dont even have to do a presentation LOL.

Gosh look at the time its gone midnight,Yoga and swimming first thing tomorrow,haircut afternoon,press my trousers,polish my shoes etc,I will let you know how I got on,Goodnight everyone,Bye.

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Janet:

Everyone wants to visit the "sick person", but because I do not look or act "sick" they tend to forget.

I found it interesting you mentioned friends wanting to visit you when you are sick, but when you don't look or act "sick" people easily forget. I had this exact discussion with my husband on Sunday evening. I have always been the one to pop into my friends houses for a visit. Make a call and see how things were going. Last Fall and Winter when I was so horrible physically disabled with my cancer, I had lots of calls and visitors. Now that I appear to be on the mend because my treatment is working, I find myself taking on more and more. I drove my daughter and grandson to our cottage on Friday and returned Saturday (close to 100 miles each way). Planned and coordinated cookouts, shopping trips and swimming at the beach. I had my a year old grandson over to the house on Wednesday for 5 hours and another 6 hours on Thursday. My husband has been out at the cottage for the week completing some trim work, that needed to be done, so I was the chief playmate and companion for Dylan. Anyone who has spent any time with a 5 year old boy, knows how much energy it takes to keep up. So, by the time Sunday rolled around, I was exhausted.

And then Monday I drove my daughter and Dylan to Ann Arbor, (90 miles to the east of here) for an eye doctor appt. My daughters car is older and she is not comfortable taking it that far from home. Then I had planned a surprise birthday party for my daughter (her b-day is the 14th) with my 3 sisters, cousins and my parents. I did ask my youngest sister to provide the cake and she was generous enough to also provide a lovely lunch. I was going to try and bake and take a cake myself, but could feel myself running down. I have been trying to walk, which is good for me, but my hip seems to be getting irritated, which both concerns and terrifies me. It was hip pain that put me in the hospital when I was originally diagnosed. There were other things too, but the unbearable pain, was the final straw. I think it is just previous damage and I have been "over doing it", but it is hard to let family know you need some TLC. They start getting concerned and asking, "What's wrong?". I hate saying those words," I have stage 4 cancer, my body is damaged, my back has weakness in many vertabrae, my ribs are weakened in many places." I so badly want to keep up and be the mother and grandmother that I have previously been. I feel like I am bringing up the hurt for them again. I don't want them to worry. I want to bake, and plan, and play. I just don't feel like I can do that every day right now.

I could use a friend to come visit me at MY home. I could use a phone call. Someone to fuss over me. I made a nice dinner last night with steak sliced thin and simmered with fresh mushrooms, buttered noodles with fresh parsley from my herb pot, and freshly sliced and fried zuchinni squash. My husband loves a meal like that. But, I did it after an 9 hour day out to Ann Arbor and back. Not trying to complain here, but it is hard to draw the border lines because it makes me feel selfish and ungrateful. I have a hard time expressing my needs, unless I am in such a weak state that I actually can't do it at all. It is hard to put me first I suppose.

I am going to try and take it easy today, but I did promise buttermilk fried chicken for dinner. I will do it in steps and try to not feel guilty if I do not go walk a mile today. I think I will try to stay in and let some of my aches and pains ease a little.

Susan :)

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Katie:

Thank you for the encouragement. For me the battle with cancer has been just as much an emotional and mental struggle as it has been physical. When you are physically weak, and exhausted others can usually see it. When it is emotional and mental, you can hide that a little easier. It is not easy for me to be open with my feelings because I was not taught to share them. I know my family cares for me, but it is not part of my nature to ask for help, until I am desperate. Probably one of the reasons it took so long to get my diagnosis. I am working on it. This site has been a safe place for me to open up and share. I needed that.

I had been told about the Caringbridge site by one of my cousins. It would probably be good for me, but I don't feel quite ready to be open with all my family and friends in quite that way yet. I have sent out emails to let them know positive news, but not some of the more personal feelings. I go mid-August for my updated CT to see how my liver is REALLY doing. Maybe I can set a goal for myself to share the news, no matter what the results are.

My family lives about 90 miles away. I moved here where my husband's family lives about 15 years ago when we got married. They are great, but we really did not get close until I got sick. I miss my own 3 sisters and their families and have really gotten lonely being home while the rest of the world works and goes on living. I have made small steps to keep busy and go walk a mile a few days a week. I am out of the house, but still alone. I am okay. I am doing one day at a time and appreciate having a place to sort out the jumble in my cancer riddled brain!

Susan

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