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Wednesday's Air

Janet B

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Good morning everyone!! it is another beautiful day here in CT! The sky is blue, 80 degrees, and the morning glories are open. There is something about a morning glory that just makes my heart smile! I am going to do something very different than my normal routine today. I am NOT going to a beach!! I decided last night, while sitting at my second beach of the day, that I needed a day home, just enjoying my garden. So, that is my plan, a little much needed housework and then ice tea And a novel on the patio. Of course by early evening I still might end up at the beach for the sunset!

I think I got about one hour of sleep last night. I didn't take any Ativan thinking I was so tired I wouldn't need it, big mistake. My scans are next week and the "scanxiety" has settled in. I thought I was past scanxiety, but I guess not! You are the only people I have told about the scans so shhhh! For 5 1/2 years I have been accompanied to every appointment by at least my husband and sister, sometimes more. I have decided from now on I want to go it alone. I have been doing my infusions alone and I find that, for me, it makes me feel stronger and more confident not to have an audience, I only have to worry about myself. We will see, my family is sneaky and determined, they may just find out and come along and of course I worry about hurting their feelings, so I might just give in and let them come. sheesh!

Susan what you wrote on Monday about doing too much and how you feel bad if you can't keep up and be the mom that you have always been - wow - that could have been written by me! I KNOW my kids would be happy to shop and cook when they are home, but taking care of them is not something I am willing to give up just yet. this living with cancer is hard!

I am off to get my day started ( at 11:30, sheesh I am lazy!). I hope you all have morning glory moments in your days!

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I am trying to stay home today and take care of a few things I have neglected for a bit. I watered my flowers in pots and shady plants that normally don't need it, but we are having a drought here in Michigan. I can't remember our last rain. Temps are better in mid-80's, but we are supposed to hit 90* again tomorrow. I checked my water lily garden built in the base of an old silo we took down and the shallow upper end had no WATER! It is still moist with mud, but I have never seen it that low since we built it about 13 years ago. The deeper end had some water. So I pulled the hose out there and am running water down the rocky water fall to fill it. I have been checking it because it looked low, but not sure how it got THAT low. I had set up a tiny bird bath/fountain with my leaky garden hose that the birds were really enjoying. They were giving me dirty looks as I dragged the hose down to the pond.

I made my first appt for a hair cut since my sister shaved my head during chemo. It is still not real long, but very curly/frizzy. I am going to get it trimmed up around my ears and neck and try to get it to look like a "style". It is tomorrow afternoon with the same lady I have been going to for about 10 years. She has not seen me since early last year. She has been cutting my husband's hair since right after high school, so he has kept her up to date on my progress.

I have a scan coming up in August and no matter how hard I try, I keep adjusting events, plans, chores around that date. All those if this, then that or if the answer is that then I will. I try to not do it, but the thought keeps popping up. My oldest daughter gets married in Columbus, OH on September 1st and no matter what scans say, anything after that will have to have me free on that date. It is non-negotiable. Looking forward to the weekend which is about 5 hour drive for me and my husband, it will be tiring, but well worth it.

I am going to make some banana buttermilk nut muffins after I finish this post. I have bananas that just won't last another day. And then maybe some reading!

Hope you all are doing the summertime things you love to do!


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Sue, you're banana muffins are making me really hungry!!! I could go for a really warm muffin and a fresh cup of coffee right now. I think that would wake me up and help me get through the rest of the day.

We've had a couple of unexpected bursts or rain here this morning. They both just seemed to come from nowhere and didn't last long. It's still very overcast and one look out the window makes you think that it must be about 7:30 with darkness approaching. In addition to needing that coffee and muffin to stay awake...the weather isn't helping anything. I would love to go home, turn down the AC to make it really chilly in the house and crawl under the covers.

I'm glad to see people are joining in with the word game. I have some new ones coming up, but I'll give you a day more with this one.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Ann in Florida

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