Jump to content

The smothering Care Giver


Recommended Posts

OK, this topic is for survivors.

As cancer survivors, we've all needed someone to care for us at one point or another. If we are lucky we've had family or friends or co workers who have given of themselves to help us get better.

What about those people who smother and "over" care for you? Those folks who insist you take wheat grass juice or shark cartlidge to cure your cancer? The people who call every hour on the hour keeping you from getting uninterrupted sleep, the helicopter caregiver who watches every bit you consume and writes it in their little notebook...the ones who scream until you get up because, well...exercise helps you live longer...even though chemo and the nausea have knocked you down so low it's hard to even keep your head up....

They mean well. They mean the world...and be grateful you have that love and that support...

The question is: How do you deal with a helicopter caregiver? When someone is so controlling or smothering that it hinders more than it helps?

Please share any insight, advice or experience for those who are newly on this path.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Your descriptions of well intended actions made me laugh!

I did not really have that issue so much when I was in the diagnosis, treatment/recovery stages-thankfully!

But, I think caregivers, just like patients, want things to happen for the better, turn around, improve, etc. and it seems like time is standing still because we all want the healing to happen right now. And they want to do something to help that happen.

As a survivor, I appreciated well-intended people and their thoughts and suggestions, but in the end, it is the patient's call on how they choose to behave during cancer treatment.

I guess my advice would be to thank them for their concerns, but right now, doctor's advice is most important. I would put them off by saying, Maybe when I get feeling better.....

Just my thoughts,


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh my goodness Cindy those descriptions happened to us! A tiny bit when I was dx. But when dad was DX my sister begged us to by a machine from whole foods ($500) that juiced wheat grass. You had to drink it within 30 minutes or it "wouldn't work" and it would cure his cancer!

We didn't buy the machine, we brought the drink home for dad to try it and he threw it in the garbage!

It's a huge warning curve and we can help others by sharing here!


Link to comment
Share on other sites


I truly believe you-well intentioned people say those things.

I did have a personal trainer giving me orientation at my gym a couple of years ago telling me all kinds of good things in terms of diet and exercise, things that I know to be true because I've done the research, but when she said, "Avoid sugar because it feeds cancer," I totally quit listening. Where the heck did that come from anyway?

And my friend who is recently diagnosed with colon cancer has been barraged by people with books about vitamins and all kinds of advice on how to make the cancer "go away", so I totally believe it happens.

It just didn't happen to me so much at the time. Think of the $$$$ some people make by scaring sick people into buying these things and by conning people who desperately want their friend or family member to be healthy.

I wish the cure for cancer could be that easy,


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.