David A Posted January 17, 2004 Posted January 17, 2004 Men strike back! > >How many men does it take to open a beer? >None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. >--------------------------------------------------------------- >Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? >Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will >probably never be able to support you. >---------------------------------------------------------------- >Why do women have smaller feet than men? >It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to >stand closer to the kitchen sink. >--------------------------------------------------------------- >How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? >When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." >--------------------------------------------------------------- >How do you fix a woman's watch? >You don't. There is a clock on the oven. >--------------------------------------------------------------- >Why do men break wind more than women? >Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required >pressure. >-------------------------------------------------------------- >If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling >at the front door, who do you let in first? >The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. >---------------------------------------------------------------- >What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? >A woman who won't do what she's told. >---------------------------------------------------------------- >I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was >Always. >---------------------------------------------------------------- >Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex >drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. >---------------------------------------------------------------- >Why do men die before their wives? >They want to. >---------------------------------------------------------------- >Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the >street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are >sexy. >---------------------------------------------------------------- >In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. >Then God created Man and rested. >Then God created Woman. >Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. >---------------------------------------------------------------- >Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select >few women who can handle the truth... Quote
bobmc Posted January 17, 2004 Posted January 17, 2004 Like it DAVE,!!! Gotta get back to some good old dumb blonde jokes too!! God bless and be well Bobmc- NSCLC- stageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01 MRI's taken 12/18/03 - 2 brain mets found- named em Frick & Frack PET taken 1/5 - hot spot in mediastinum May be cancer?? "Absolutely insist on enjoying life toda Quote
SandyS Posted January 17, 2004 Posted January 17, 2004 HHHHHHHHHHhrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmpppppphh! Well, Dave, I USED to like you! Just kidding - those were funny, SandyS Quote
betplace Posted January 18, 2004 Posted January 18, 2004 Something wrong with me I guess, I laughed harder at those than any jokes I have seen in a while! Thanks for the grins Blessings Betty Quote
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