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doctors bedside manner


Rosanne

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Unfortunately most oncologist docs must go to the same school. Why do they have to remind us every appt. that my husband's cancer is incurable-last time his physicians' asst. mentioned it 3-4 times when explaining things. :x The next day Gianni said he is going to tell them that as of October 24, 2002 he knows that his cancer is not curable and he doesn't have to be reminded. :roll: I wish one of us would have said something then-but sometimes it takes time to digest what was said.

This doc is better than the first ones-we switched already-Gianni says we are running out of doctors to switch again. :)

My daughter said it best. I think we will be mad at and not like anyone who treats Gianni-shoot the messenger I guess.(She gets so frustrated :x )

Whew glad I got that off my chest.

Rosanne

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Rosanne!

I know exactly how you feel! My dad's Onc. says it at every CT scan result appotintment. DUhhhh, I think we get it already! SHUT UP! I guess they are all trained to not give "false" hope, but how about some REAL hope? How about letting us in on the fact that there are things that can sustain life until something better comes along? How about that ancient thing called a MIRACLE? how about that huh? As long as I am breathing and not in pain and have some semblance of a decent life, how about leaving me the heck alone and letting me know that the survival rate is NOT "O" and that I have a fighting chance...? Huh?

Whew., thanks for letting me get that off my chest! I read today that people who pray and are prayed for live 50-90% longer than those who are not. WE ARE ALL praying for your hunny (and YOU) always!

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Thanks Katie right back at ya, Love your new picture.

I forgot -the physician's asst did say that she had known people who stayed stable a year or more.

Also, when I said that Gianni's disease was in God's hand she looked up suddenly as if she didn't beleive what she heard so I repeated it, Than she somewhat agreed. Go figure.

Rosanne

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OK, Rosanne, before my new medication kicks in and my aggravation level calms down, do you want me to go and break a few legs? I'll do it. You just give me the nod. I'll take care of it.

Seriously, I know what you mean. Next time they say the whole "not curable" thing you should just, dryly, say..."and you're telling me this because?????" better yet, tell the doc that you think he should get a brain MRI, because apparently he's forgotten the 50 other times he told you that its not curable, and they might want to 'check that problem out'.

Take care, Deb

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:evil: Yes that is ridiculous. I heard that often when my mom was being treated. Why the hell are they in this specialty then if they're just going to throw in the towel? And it makes me mad when I talked to a so-called specialist and they are surprised to hear of research I found.

Sure there may be a time for hospice, but the patient should decide.

Maybe the best thing to do is find a onc that had a close friend or relative with the disease. Maybe then they would show a little passion and compassion in their job.

BTW - I believe there are great doctors out there - too bad it seems there are many poor ones also

God bless everyone

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I've said it before and I'll say it again. Oncologists are probably the worst people in the world to deal with. My mom's first oncologist, and pulmonologists for that matter, did not give us any hope at all. They said they were just "buying her time". They would not entertain all the other available legitimate options I found, and got upset when we found doctors who did. I wonder what they've got to say now. I even talked to a lawyer who sued this hospital for an Illinois record-breaking amount, but he basically implied that since my mom made it we don't exactly have a case.

John, you are right too. We lucked out, so to speak, because my mom's new oncologist at the Block Center is the son of a breast cancer survivor. That would explain his unrelenting compassion and optimistic attitude. Like I said, he was the first one to give us any hope. He is there whenever we need him, and calls back right away. His mom was treated there too I think, and I am sure that Dr. Mike has witnessed many "miracles" in his practice. He even ridicules all those other doctors and tells us to forget about them. Because of all the hopelessness fed to us in the beginning, half the battle was convincing my mom to go there and endure more chemo, and also to finally get her to agree to see the surgeon. Even though my mom does not look forward to her last few rounds of adjuvant chemo, I know the doc means well. And guess what, the surgeon now is busier than ever. (7 new patients in one day!). We done started something. Her future and her kids' futures are set.

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Oh boy - Let me at 'em - Grrrr Let me at 'em.....

I'm not on medication like Deb - so I think I would like to break a few heads...forget the legs!

I'm glad to know Mike and I are not alone...and that I'm not alone in my frustrations of having to hear that over and over again!

But - I'll have to admit - Last time we saw the oncologist he did say it was a miracle that Mike was still with us....but why oh why did he have to say it like he was "defeated" or "proved wrong"? Wouldn't you think that they would LIKE to have a success now and then?

I think the next time I hear "it's incurable" I'm going to say - Then you aren't a very good doctor are you?

Cuz you are all right....Why seek out a "specialist" in the field of oncology if all they do is "throw in the towel"?

Love and hugs,

The cowardly lion

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I have to agree with the comments in regard to my radiation oncologist, my chemo oncologist was great, told me I had a serious condition and they would do all they could the rest was up to God and me, I wish I was

seeing him for my follow ups.

The title of the book about The Doors lead singer Jim Morrison "No one get out of here alive" keeps popping in my head.

Don't know if I've made any sense.

Praying for everyone here and George W too. David A

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I guess we're pretty lucky. Lucie's oncologist does not use "incurable" or "curable", or "you have x months to live". He just stays in the present, telling us whether he thinks progress is being made or not. And he tells her she is looking better than last time, almost every time. I'm glad that someone besides me is telling her that because she tends to think I would say that anyway. Friends have helped out with the image, too. Sorry so many are getting poor attitude from their oncs. Don

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Hi Rosanne....We all know too well what you are talking about....I have to admit I wonder sometimes if I think like your daughter is it really the doctor or is it because he is the messenger and we certainly dont want to hear his message....Take care......cathy

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