md6183 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Hello everyone, I'm Mike, spousal caregiver, and principal cornerman (as in the boxing metaphor). I've checked out a few web groups, and I am very impressed with this site and its moderators, survivors/patients, and other caregivers. I'd like to begin by saying "thank you" for your contributions here. My wife Kathy, age 50, received initial LC diagnosis on Aug 9, 2012, with subsequent dx of NSCLC adenocarcinoma, stage IV. She's had one chemo treatment (carboplatin and pemetrexed, with day-later Neulasta), with her second this week. She's strong and has no other health issues, and rebounded very well from the first chemo. Our faith keeps us both strong, and we have an extensive and amazing network of family and friends supporters. I'm only now venturing into the world of online support, cautiously and carefully reviewing bits and pieces of information. Some folks may want ALL the information they can find, but at this time Kathy prefers to stay offline, removed from the medical details, and focus on staying strong in mind and body. Right now, she lets me research the medical matters, and I am pleased to do so. We've been married for 29 years and I know my wife well enough to giver her manageable doses It's just the way she has always been, and sometimes I have a hard time convincing family and friends that she is okay without wanting to know the details or especially the prognoses. I am trying hard to be her bastion of confidence, and keep her away from any negative or hopeless thoughts, and I try hard to remain optimistic but realistic. Together we are slowly working our minds and spirits into learning to live with this cancer, and we are emotionally and spiritually in a good place, ready to deal with more hard stuff should it arrive. Thanks for your contributions to this group, and thanks for listening to our story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curlysue50 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Mike: I am glad you found us here, but sorry for the reason. I have stage 4 NSCLC adenocarcinoma. I was diagnosed August 2011 and am doing quite well for now. It took me awhile to dig up all the facts on lung cancer. I did not get involved on this support community until April 2012. Frankly, for me, all my strength and energy was taken by the chemo and just staying alive. Once I became stable, then improved, I felt the need for some support in figuring out how I could LIVE with my cancer. It has been challenging, but I have found friends, support and perspective here. Caregivers, such as yourself give survivors some of the thoughts and emotions that our actual caregivers might not want to share with us. And you may read some things here that your wife may be hesistant to share with you right now. I try to stay positive, but I am human and some days I am just fearful, or sad. This is a place I can share that without burdening my husband. These folks understand. I can gain new perspective and move on. I can learn it is okay to share my emotions about my disease and am now better at sharing with my husband. I know this is hard for him too. You don't have to pretend to be okay all the time here. There is no judgement, just support and empathy. You are not alone in this. You might want to check out the Just For Fun discussion forum, if you have not already. Many of us share our daily lives, adventures, baking successes or family news there. It is a great way to get to know each other OUTSIDE the realm of our cancer! Also, if you have a particular topic you are looking for others opinions or thoughts, post them in a forum that seems appropriate to you. No formal rules here in that respect. If you have questions, feel free to ask. Welcome! Susan Sent from my SCH-I405 using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric byrne Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Hi Mike, Welcome to LCSC,it will be my pleasure in getting to know you,the natives here are extremely friendly,positive and supportive,since I live in Scotland they have even forgiven me for the American Wars of Independance,mind you there were probably a lot of Scots who fought on the American side?. Anyway where was I?,sorry to hear about your wifes dx,I know a lot of stage 4 survivors who are doing really well,my buddy Robert for example, was dxd in 1993 with SCLC,given only 2 months to live by his doctors,asks for the strongest available chemo,to give him the best chance of survival,he is hospitalised for his chemo,he was so unwell in receiving his treatments his family were called to his bedside on more than one occassion,since his docs did'nt think he would see the next day,well to the amazement of everyone Robert makes a full recovery,lives on,then in 2007 he is now dxd with NSCLC,has surgery and chemo,makes a full recovery,today at 72 years young,has the energy and lust for life of people half his age. In my own case,following my treatments of chemo and surgery,I went back to my GP to ask his permission to be signed fit to return to work,he refused,saying,it would be better for you to get in some quality time with your wife since you only have a maximum of two years left,we went on further to say,quote "I once had a patient who survived 5 years with lung cancer,what a character-but,you are not him".Well that was 4 years ago.I shared his comments with my oncologist,he was astounded by my GPs remarks,telling me he sometimes despaired for his medical colleagues,did I really think he had put me through all these treatments to give me a couple of years?, no,I am fighting to give you 15 to 20 years if not a complete cure. Well after 4 years I am still here,just to spite my GP,I intent to continue to do so for years to come.I have this ambition to send my GP a five year anniversary survivor card to him next October the 14th.This card will include his comments to me,along with a couple of quotes I have found, which I think appropriate, "Hope is both the earliest indispensible virtue in the state of being alive.If life is to be sustained,hope must remain even where confidence is wounded trust impaired." Erik Erikson (1902-1994). "Hope sees the invisible feels the intangible and achieves the impossible". Please pass onto your wife my very best wishes for a complete recovery ,I do hope your wife as with yourself, you will develope new friendships with all the wonderful buddies who inhabit LCSC,please find the forum "Just for Fun" which everyone can post in their daily reflections on whats happening currently in their back yards,I have learned so much of American culture by just being here.Oh if you can find some spare time,why not look up the members photo album,I have posted many blocks of pics of my backyard called Scotland,also many of my trips around the USA. One more quote to close with I found some time ago,which helped me a lot "Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair,it gives you something to do,but it dos'nt get you anywhere".Bye for now Mike hope to hear again from you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dianew Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I'm not sure there is much I can add to what Susan and Eric had to say - but I want to welcome you also. The first time I was diagnosed with LC in 1998 there were no support groups - I was so happy to find this place in 2008 when I was diagnosed again. It has been a life line for me. I was diagnosed 3B with squamous cell in 2008, and it has now been four years and I am still doing well and planning for many more. You and your wife obviously make a great team! I hope you come back often. Diane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 welcome and thanks for sharing the story... stick around and keep posting. there are lots of great folks here to help and lean on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelife Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Hi Mike, I'm sorry to hear about your wife. I'm glad you found this site. My mom has stage 4 lung cancer and this site has helped me so much. My mother as well as your wife does not want to know a lot of specifics about her diagnosis and whats going on. I really think it has helped her, she is very positive and optimistic. She said to her team of doctors just tell me what to do and I will do it, dont tell me all the side effects and what my chances are....I love hearing Eric's story about his friend Robert, everytime I hear that story it puts a huge smile on my face....Thank you for sharing that. My father and I take care of my mom, As a caregiver its great to have outside support. Because in front of our loved ones we are their rock, so its so nice to come here and talk about how we feel. Please dont hesitate to reach out!! Hope your doing well Laurie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieB Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Welcome Mike. I look forward to getting to know you and your wife. Keep posting. This is a great bunch, Hugs, K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
md6183 Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 Thank you all for the kind, warm, and amusing (from Eric) welcome! I will remark that reading your stories and your journeys, especially as reflected in your signatures, helps me as a newbie to understand the range and nature of what our journey might entail. While we lean on our family and friends and prayer circle for a lot of emotional and spiritual support, I can see this group as a fabulous source for medical and technical understanding and awareness (I've learned a lot in the past few days), and also for emotional support too My wife Kathy is always looking for reinforcing sources of hope, and I can see that here in all of you who have experienced and/or supported others in this journey. Bless you all! /Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 we believe very strongly in power of group prayer here!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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