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Training the Caregiver


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I am recently diagnosed with my second go-round of BAC. Mostly, I don't need assistance as some would see it, but do need some basic help regarding not having household members make more work for me. An adult daughter is temporarily living her due to an accident resulting in a TBI. She tries, and I can not get upset with her on any messes. I ask, she responds. She does not remember to help me on what I ask, like floor care. Then there is the husband that just does not 'see' what needs to be done or the extra work he makes. I need to train him for extra duty. I try not to ask anymore of him than he do for himself right now as I can do most things and he is working 1 1/2 jobs to keep us together. How did others train family caregivers to become such?

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Perhaps your family is in denial regarding your health? It's hard to know unless you have a heart to heart talk with them. Maybe you could talk to them both over dinner and explain that you wish they would help you more. Are you seeing things that need to be cleaned that aren't that important to them? From my experience I was a fanatic about my house and my husband never noticed those kinds of things?

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I didn't mean to complain, he does do if I ask...but I worry that if the little common things aren't noticed (such as the standard of picking up after one's own self) then living out here (20 mi from town) what if I really need some family help? I can and still do everything, but everything I do makes me winded. I guess I was having a worry day :)

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We all deserve worry days! I am right there with you. Unfortunately my husband seems untrainable! The best I can do is warn my daughters to train their husbands to help with the housework young! As Michelle says, my husband just doesn't "see it". He would never notice dog hair on the floor, a dirty bathroom, smelly sheets or cobwebs! (To give him some benefit of the doubt, neither did his mother :? !). if I ask, he will do it. Once. Then he has to be asked again. I feel like a nag, I get angry at him for not caring, I stress out, and then I remember, he just doesn't "see it" and he doesnt see the importance of it. He SHOULD, I know, but he doesn't, I know it is not because he doesn't care and I don't want this time to be an angry time, so I have let go of my standards a bit. I DO know that when I get too sick to do anything, we will just have to hire someone, because being sick in a dirty house is just depressing! Sorry that I had no words of advice, but wanted to let you know that you are not alone!

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