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Monday's air


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I woke up this morning with a purpose on my mind. Yesterday I came here and checked to see if there had been new posts. It is sad to say that there were none. How many of us remember that yesterday was a year that we lost our dear friend Judy? She kept this forum going for a very long time and we have let her down now that she is gone.

I have to admit how guilty I am. I come here and sometimes I see a post and I read then rush away to something else. Once in a while I write a post but when no one responds I start to feel like no one is interested any more so I back off. I know the reality is that we have moved on to different places. It is easier to go to Facebook and check in there and we have busy lives that we need or want to get back to. That is understandable but I think it is time for a reminder.

Why did each of us first come here? I know I came because I was overwhelmed by grief and found a place where people understood. They understood that grief is universal but having been on the ride that comes with Lung Cancer that grief takes on a different meaning. Once I felt accepted and understood here I started to move out of that deep pit of depression that I was in. I didn't do it alone. It took the support of everyone who came here daily. It took words and kindness from others and it took having a place to let out the anger. It took finding an understanding and realizing that I was not alone, that there were others who had been there and were there and we could share our fear, anger and grief.

Now I come here and see that days have passed and not one person has posted. Not only is that sad but it makes me feel like we are letting all the people who were there for us down because we are not playing what we were given forward to others. How many are there out there that have came here for support and found no one here? How many more would have reached out for help if they could have found some of us here waiting just as we had found others waiting when we needed them?

One of the things that really helped me to start to want to get moving out of that pit of depression was a sermon that a visiting preacher gave one Sunday at our little church when I lived in French Gulch. He told about his wife and their battle with alzhiemers. He told about how he was so lost in his grief that he wasn't doing the things he should have been then one day he realized that his grief had turned to sin. Why? because he kept questioning why and he hadn't done anything to use what he had been through to help others. He said that when we go through something so painful, when our grief or fear has dominated our life for so long it is our duty to take all of the pain , fear and anger and use the understanding it has given to us to help others. Our Katie is probably the best example of that you will find anywhere.

So now I will get off of my soap box and promise to try and do better, to try to come here more often again and welcome those who like us would never have wanted to need this place but deserve the same support that we were given because what they want and what they need are two very different things. Please join me in welcoming them and let's get this site up and active again. Let's do it for all of the people out there who need us but also let's do it for Judy and Sara and Annette, Dean Carl and so many others who have became a part of our special memories of this wonderful group that we have called family, this place that none of us ever wanted or expected to belong to but who have been blessed to find it when we needed it most.

So please come and visit again and someone please let me know if you have heard from Dianne.

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I am glad that people have those resources. It is so important that they have that kind of support, especially those who are just starting out on their journy. I wish I had it in the begining of mine and Johnny's journy. Anyone who has experienced LC in any capascity knows that there is no lighter side to lung cancer. We all know that it can test your heart and your very soul.

Having said that I do believe that this forum is needed just as much because so much of LC is so intense. This forum offers a place where people can come and see everyday life. They can see that life may never be the same but people do keep their sense of humor, they do face other challenges in life and often overcome them. They see that grief can be born even when we think we will collapse under the weight of the pain. It gives people, especially those who are just starting out a place to come and be accepted and not have to explain because there is always someone here who understands without explainations.

We all agree that LC is one of the most life changing events that anyone will ever go through and because of that they need it all, everything that LCSC and Lungevity can offer. They need everyone and everything that we can say, share and do for them. By doing that maybe just maybe we will begin to get a climpse of the answer to that old quesion why did this happen to me or my loved one. Maybe it happened because it takes so many and so much support to keep people going until that blessed day when someone finds a real cure.

I see that people are reading so please come on and let us know what you think, what this forum has meant to you or what you would like to get out of it if you are just visiting.

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Lillian, I love what you wrote, It has made me sad the past few months how quiet this site has gotten, especially sad for the people who are just lurking,looking for a place for help and support. We need to be better about keeping this place active and vibrant so it is welcoming for anyone new who might poke their head in. I am guilty. I start the air some days and if I no one else adds on, I feel funny starting again the next day, like I am talking to myself, but I vow to do better, better in ALL the forums.

One HUGE plus to being active on the forums is the friends we make. When I met Katie, Bud, Alan, Eric, Cindy,Jaime, Dawn and Mary at Hope Summit, we already knew each other from this site. Instant comfort level, instant bonding!

This site has gotten me through some rough times. Yes, we have lost some treasured friends over the years here, but without the site, we would have never had the blessing of their friendship.


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Good Evening Everyone,

Special thanks to Lillian for an excellent reflection on Just for Fun,it is rather sad that it is going through some lean times,it is difficult to maintain a desire to continue posting,when your posts remain without reply,posting is so much easier when you have a stimulus of responding to other postees,and yet someone has to make the initial effort.However looking on the bright side,I notice Just for Fun does have well over 400 loyal readers to every post,surely thats audience enough for any postee,so my reluctant friends who are not active in posting and are content to read the posts instead,why not join in?.Reasons/excuses? well I would,but I really dont have anything to share with you,my life is rather ordinary,nothing really exciting happening to me at the moment etc,nonsense,I live in Scotland,I enjoy so many aspects of Scottish life,I want to share them with you (see my pics in the members photo album) but I tell you what,I just love the pleasure in having a friend at the other side of the pond who can share with me their daily experiences,its so exotic (to me anyway),to read from someone living in some part of the USA, eg,Florida,Maryland,California,Utah,Virginia,Texas and New York,whats that you are saying?,I did'nt mention your particular neck of the wood?well apologies,so why dont you write in and tell me something about where you live,promise I will reply.

Off my soapbox now,what have been getting up to?,oh its so boring,not interesting at all,but I have been continuing with my daily,gymming,swimming and yoga-ing,my diet is slowing taking effect,I have lost 14lbs over these last few weeks,I now tip the scales ( fully dressed) at 15 st,OK I know you dont do that in the USA, so 15 x 14 = 210lbs,all right stop laughing I am still working at it.

I celebrated my 64th birthday last week,my daughter and her boyfriend gave me a lovely present,well it was the first present I have unwrapped and I still did'nt know what is was?,the box said mini-computer,I removed said prezzie from its box,the object was like a large USB,with a wire and plug attached,well Chris and Jennifer came to my house on Saturday to install it into my TV,its wonderful,its transformed my TV viewing no end,no more downloading American TV series,it got them all there,even right up to date ones,for Game of Thrones,Orphan Black,Da Vinci's Demons,Borgias and Downton Abbey oops that one of ours.

Still doing my front of house,enjoying the shows,I have been invited to Anniesland College for lunch in the training restaurant on Thursday,all the usual suspects will be there,I love catching up in all the work gossip,the Scottish Government is reducing the number of FE colleges in Scotland by two thirds,by mergers,so Anniesland is merging Cardonald and my former college Langside,its not really about improving educational standards more about saving money,ie one principal instead of three etc all the way down the line,glad I am now retired,seems there will be several redundancies.

Its almost time for my charity walk around Millport with the Noreen Davis Hikers and Bikers,its on Sat 1st June,Eric, virtually the lone male with 300+ lovely ladies,(have I died and gone to heaven?) I am the mascot and official photographer,its a great day out and raises around £30,000 ($45,000).My photographs are shown at the Cheque Presentation Gala Night in October,everyone is in fancy dress,each bus has a different theme,my bus, costumes to be in black and silver,including headwear?.

Got to go,enjoy the rest of Monday everyone,bye.

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Some of you may remember that a couple of months ago I wrote about my neighbor Robert and the problems that he had understanding that one night at Wii bowling. He ended up in a nursing home a few days later. Last weekend his family moved out the last of his things because we all knew that he wasn't coming back. That was sad but they all said that he was happy there. I didn't go see for myself. I prefer to remember him at his best like he was when I first moved here.

A few hours ago I was informed that Robert has died. This deeply saddens me but a part of me knew that it wouldn't be long. Now soon I hope to find out about another of my neighbors, She has had to start treatment again for colon cancer and she has not been home. We got a card and a hat for her and hope soon to hear something positive. In the mean time I will be asking for prayers for Helen. I will come back again soon and post again. I just can't see this forum end. It has been too important to me and so many others.

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Yes Eric, that would be Pennsylvania please. Nice reflection indeed Lillian. Janet is so right about meeting a bunch of folks at the Summit. The first time I walked in the hotel lobby, Bud and I made eye contact and hello like we were already old friends. Same with Katie, Janet and others. This year was the same way, bumping into people that we've seen on this forum and Facebook. It really is a special thing. I missed meeting Judy Mitchell and I hated that. She gave me so much love here from the start and always wanted updates. Hard to explain the feeling of losing someone so close but so far at the same time. There is nothing like having a beer with Eric. (or 2 or 3 or) This awful disease tears us apart and brings us together again and again. There are very silver linings here and everywhere. Judy, Sara, Garry, Susan you are all still among us forever.

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Hey everybody!! A good day for the air! Thanks for the push Lillian!

Lillian, I am so sorry about the loss of your neighbor,

Eric, I think your life is very exciting and full of adventures and friendships! I have told you before, just reading about all you do in a day makes me tired!!

Today I had a sad encounter. I was waiting for my daughter at the train station and there was a woman holding a beautiful 18 month old. I tried chatting with the little one but she just stared at me. The mom said that the baby was still a little out of it because she was given a sedative to go through an MRI. Then the mom just broke down and told me they thought the baby had cancer. She was so scared, and distressed, and lost. I chatted with her a while telling her about a student I had who had cancer at 18 months and at 12 is cancer free, I told her my story, and I talked to her about not jumping ahead until she knows for sure. We talked about faith and prayer, I hope I helped. It also reminded me that even though I have cancer, I am blessed that I have lived a life and my children are all healthy. I felt terrible leaving her and kind of helpless that I will never know how it turns out. If any of you believe in prayer, please pray for Amay.

Peace, Janet

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