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My introduction


Tairen

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It's been really hard here lately so I'll try to get my whole story here without boring anyone.

I'm the youngest of four children and the only girl so needless to say I'm pretty spoiled. I'm a single mom who has struggled to make ends meet but I've been doing okay so far but this isn't about me...this is about my mom.

My mom is one of the strongest, passionate, caring, loving people I will probably ever know. She's always been there for my brothers and I no matter what we needed she was there to do what she can. My junior year of high school she was diagnosed with brain cancer and over the summer I went to Girl Scout camp because she didn't want her problem to interrupt my life. She made a promise to me that at the beginning of my senior year that she was going to watch me walk across the stage in May cancer free. Not only did she keep her promise but she stayed in remission for 14 years. She was there for me when a relationship fell apart and I found I was pregnant three days before my 21st birthday. She supported me as I completed my Associates degree and then went on to get my Bachelor's degree. She drove 10 hours to get me from another state when I found out the guy I was with was cheating on me four days before Christmas. She's constantly telling my brothers and I how much she loves us and that she appreciates us in every way.

She turned 68 on Oct. 19th and had a lovely birthday only to find out that her life was going to change dramatically. On Oct. 22nd her house caught fire and she had a heart attack from stress. Two weeks after that she got the go ahead to go back to work and the same day she slipped and fell and broke her wrist in two places causing her to get pins. She was miserable but she always kept her head held high and always had a smile for us regardless of what was going on. She got a call roughly two weeks after that only to find out that her aunt passed away. This was the last living sibling of her mother and she was very depressed and sad that she didn't have that connection with her mother anymore but she knew she had to concentrate on her health. She got very sick right before Christmas to find out that she had something called C-Diff. The medicine for this was astronomically high and because of the conditions any time she takes antibiotics again she has a chance of contracting it again. We were good for a month once she got rid of the C-Diff only to have a family friend pass away on Valentine's Day. We were all devastated because he was only 45 years old and far to young to go but again she had to get past that and concentrate on her health as she was having severe chest pain. I took her to the hospital and they took some x-rays and told her that she had Pleurisy and they gave her some pain medicine to help but she kept complaining until her doctor sent her in to get scanned for cancer since they found nodules on her lung when they took the x-ray. From there we have found out that she has Small Cell Lung Cancer extensive stage. It's in her bones and lymph nodes but thankfully it hasn't spread to her brain or neck. She's getting chemo three days every three weeks. They told us that she's got from three weeks to 12 months to live.

She's passed the three weeks mark but my problem is that I don't want to lose her at all. I love my mom and I don't know what I'm going to do without her. As of right now she's responding great to the treatment, she's eating well, has gained weight and has more energy now than she did before but at what point can I expect that to go downhill? None of my friends understand and it's hard to talk to my brothers because they just close up and don't want to talk about it at all. I need to find people who understand what I'm going through and can help me help her.

Thats my story. Thank you for reading.

Tairen

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Tairen,

You're mom sounds like an amazing woman. And may I add she has an amazing daughter as well. It saddens me to read about what she is going through. The members on this board are here for you dear one. There is a wealth of information and support from all of us. Please feel free to browse our boards and read about many success stories.

As far as time...these doctors don't really know for sure. Please try to think positive and spend as much quality time with your mom as you possibly can.

If you have questions or just want to vent....we are here for you ((hugs)) Keep us updated!

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Tairen - I'm sorry you had need to find us, but I am glad you did. As Michelle said, the doctor's do not know for sure how long any of us have. There are many people here who have survived well beyond what the doctors predicted, and continue to do so. It is clear that your mom is a very strong and positive person, and that counts for a lot. So does having the love and support of a daughter like you.

Please come back and let us know how things are going, to ask questions, or just to read some of the "stories" you'll find under My Story. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

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Tairen,

We get it. We understand everything you are feeling. Keep posting and lean on us. These are the best folks I know who have walked this walk.

The one piece of advice I can share is try not to think too far ahead... the stats and realities of life without your mom in it are uncertain and scary. there's no expiration date and we can't predict the future. There are also many people who are living and living well with stage IV for many years here --they can attest to how wrong timelines and statistics can be.

Concentrate on today. Love and live and have the best moments you can... we will be here for you.

Keep posting. It helps. Looking forward to getting to know you,

KatieB

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Tairen,

Everyone above nailed it, so I just wanna say that I will keep you & her in my thoughts & prayers. I lost my mom suddenly... tho a bit older than you at the time, I get it. Just remember you can't say "I love you" too much.

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  • 8 months later...

I guess it's long past due for an update! Mom was doing really well up until about October. They took her off the original chemo she was getting and started her on something else that did nothing to help her. The cancer has now spread into her pelvis and her brain and neck. As of this morning her oncologist says it's time to start setting up for hospice care. I'm so devastated that they want to give up on her when she is screaming and yelling (as best she can) that she isn't ready to give up yet! I'm contacting places that will take on research patients as it seems that is the only way she is going to get treatment at this point and she wants to continue getting the treatment. Please keep my family in your prayers as we go on with this battle.

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Thank you for the update dear one. Your Mom certainly sounds like a fighter! This is her cancer, so if she chooses to fight then I say good for her. I just wish you could find yourself some emotional support. Have you tried talking more to your brothers to see if they will open up? I wish you the best of look and hope your Mom starts feeling better soon.

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Just another quick update!

I told my brother (my mom's POA) to call around to lawyers because it doesn't sound right that any doctor can refuse treatment as long as someone is alive and wanting to fight. Doesn't that go against their creed? So he did some calling around and they are going to start radiation again on Monday or Tuesday for 15 consecutive days (minus the weekends) and then start her back on her original chemo treatment that was helping her out so much to begin with.

THIS is great and wonderful news for all of us!!

I still only get emotional support from one of my brothers…

I felt I had to edit out my rant as it isn't fair that I air out family issues on a board. But the above statement is still true to fact.

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Tairen,

It's always tough to see people you love going through all of this-it sounds like you have a great mom-and please keep us posted. We all understand what you are going through.

Cindy

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My mom was taken off bi-pap, she was taken off opti-flow and is now on the nasal cannula full time. They feel she has improved to the point they moved her to a skilled nursing home where she will continue to get the radiation treatments and the physical therapy she needs to get her body back in shape from all that laying in a hospital bed. She has improved so much at the nursing facility that they are keeping her there for the rest of her radiation treatments and then sending her home (the one that just recently got finished and looks fantastic! I'll post some photos of before, during and after when I get the chance.)

Other than that my bad news is that my dad passed away last night from complications from COPD, Emphysema, Pulmonary Lung Disease and Diabetes.

Smoking sucks.

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  • 2 months later...

Just an update!

My mom is now on hospice and she's started what the hospice nurse is calling "the death rattle". I'm not sure what that means exactly but she is telling us to rally around and just spend time with her even though she isn't aware that we are there most of the time.

I'm still having a hard time grieving for my father and part of that is that I haven't had much time to do so. Unfortunately I have a couple other things going on besides taking care of my mom. We recently found out that my aunt (my dad's sister) has carcinoma and they are starting her on chemo today but they aren't holding out much hope that it's going to work.

I also have another friend of mine that is battling SCLC and he's only in his 30s. It's been a struggle there as well. I'm just so tired of everyone I love dying around me that I feel myself becoming detached from life and with a child to take care of I know this is the wrong thing for me but I'm not sure how to stop it.

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my condolences, thoughts and prayers to you for the loss of your dad and the condition of your mom...

Wish i knew what to say but no words can really express things the way you want them to be said...

Often when faced with trials and tribulations of this nature have often had talks with god about things. grab a fave beverage and go outside some nice night and tell him everything on your mind to kinda clear your thoughts... I used to even cuss and then apologize for it when I was mad at things..

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