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Help, my hearts breaking!


ladyhuntr

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Its been a while since I have been able to read on here cause I have been at the hospital with my husband.

As I told you before, he had NSCLS. I had hoped we would make it to our first aniversary but it was not meant to happen.

He started having pain in his back last week and it got worse and he stopped eating. He got so weak over the weekend that he couldn't stand up but still refused to go to the hospital. He was trying to wait until his regular appt. on Monday morning. Although when that time came, I couldn't even sit him up in bed so I knew I couldn't get him out to the car and to the hospital so I just called the ambulance to come get him even though he told them he wasn't going when they got there. We did manage to get him there and they did xrays to find out what the problem was and told us that his liver was failing.

When I went out of the room, the dr called me over there and told me to call his family cause it would be days, possibly two. After they started giving him the intravaneous fluids, he started to feel some better and was able to talk and joke with us all day Monday, but after that, he didn't wake up at all the next 2 days except temporarily when they would move him or do something that caused more pain.

Finally on wed. night around 8 his blood pressure had started to drop and was only 59/34 and we figured it would be only moments but he tried to hang on as long as he could and it was 12:25 when he finally passed.

Needless to say, I feel like my whole world has fallen apart. Even though both our families are around, it feels like I've finally landed on that remote island and am all alone.

Anyway, He is out of his pain now and in a better place but I sure do need your prayers to help me get through this. Even though I had been married twice before, I had never experienced the kind of love that we shared. Its unreal the way we seem to be exactly what the other needed in their life. The only way I can explain it is we were like two pieces of a puzzle and we just fit. I feel like my heart has been ripped out and I don't know if it will ever be the same again.

I have to get ready to meet the the people at the funeral home so I need to end this. Thanks for letting me vent cause I feel like I'm going to explode with the pain inside.

Please pray for me.

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Guest mmirrell

Hi,

it does seem so quick and sudden. my heart goes out to you. please take comfort in those around you and find and use their strength to get through this part of your journey. i will not say it will be easy, but i will say this, that courage and patience are needed. don't rush yourself. there is no map for grief. do what you need to do when you need to do it. people will understand. and you will feel better for letting your feelings out. there is no other way to but experience these feelings. i am thinking of you and wishing you the courage to get through this part.

mirrell

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Dear Connie,

I am so sorry. I know what you mean by two pieces of a puzzle. My Earl is my rock, my friend, my lover, my sweetheart, my everything.

The only thing is that time does help us heal. It doesn't eliminate the pain, but it does help us move on.

I will be thinking of you.

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Connie,

please accept my sincere apologies for your great loss. Your heart may never be the same and this will be so hard on you, but with love and support you wake each day and begin your life again. May your treasured memories sustain you and my prayers are going out to you.

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Connie,

My heart aches for you in the loss of the love of your life. Only the passing days and God's grace will bring you some ease, but in the meantime, it's hard to face all that has to be contended with. I hope you have close family and friends to care for you and help. Thank you for taking the time to tell us, and please return to this site for support and fellowship.

My sincere condolences.

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My heart is heavy at your great loss. Give yourself time to go through the grief -- at your pace and way. Keep in touch with this family here, as we will support you through this. Don't give up on yourself -- there is more for you ahead. My prayers are with you. Don

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Connie,

I too understand what it means to be a perfect fit with your mate. Although my husband and I were married before, we have been married to each other for 18 years and feel so lucky to have found each other. Please take time for yourself - to grieve and feel lonely - but also to feel thankful for the love that came your way. Come back here and let us help you when you are able.

Blessings to you,

Peg

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Terry S

Connie,

My heart is breaking for you. My husband was just diagnosed with NSCLC with mets to the brain, and lymph nodes in January 2003. We found out 17 months and 20 days after we married. We both have been married before but were high school sweethearts who found our way back to one another. I'm devastated to say the least and so angry! My husband is a teacher, tennis coach and a private pilot and this cancer has taken all of that from him. He's currently on carboplantin and taxotere and has finished 12 radiation treatments. I watch daily as he seems to disappear before my eyes. I've loved this man since we were in high school and the doctors tell me his time with me won't be much longer. I'm soooo heartbroken and I pray and pray for a miracle. I know that God hears our prayers, that's the only consolation I have right now. I want you to know that God loves you, and he will give you the strength to endure this.

Terry Smith

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Dear Connie..I am so sorry for you loss, I too lost my husband last fall to NSCLC and I understand how you feel very much, I pray you will find peace and strength again soon, it feels like it will never come, but it does little by little. I am happy you have such a strong family.. they are the greatest source of comfort. If I didn't have such good friends and family, I never would have made it out of darkness. Please stay in touch with us here so we know how you are doing. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time....Kim B.

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