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Stage IV NSCLC - Need to make a decision!


GDE

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Hi, my dad recently has been diagnosed and he doesn't want to do the treatment the Dr has suggested...Chemo. He feels fine and wants to fight this without treatment. He wants his quality of life. Please someone tell me what is right from wrong, help me understand what would be the best choice to do the chemo or not to. My dad currently looks and feels fine. I'm so confused. I don't want him to suffer. He's my rock and I can't picture my life without him :(

Thank you all and god bless you!

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Hello,

sorry to hear about your dad. It is hard when is your parent, and even harder when they feel strong enough not do anything and fight it that way. My mom did not want to do anything at the beginning, but we convince her to start fighting, many things can help I am sure, some chemo, some radiation, some surgery, some combination. My mother started with Tarceva 150, she liked that because it was just one tablet a day to take. She made changes in her diet: less sugar, less processed foods, only filtered water. She was diagnosed after having symptoms SOB which hospitalized her thinking it was pneumonia, but it was not. It was NSCLC. After starting Tarceva 2-3 months she was feeling better, enough to go back to work part time. What I would recommend is to check with 2-3 MDs and see which one your father feels comfortable working with, the MD and the patient have to work together. After about 10-11 months the malignancy advanced to her bones very rapidly, it appears, my mom left us grieving. She was only 71 years, still missed her a great deal. When I read of people with her same diagnosis and living much longer, I wonder if anything else could have been done earlier. She was surrounded by her 3 children and granchildren and I know she was ready.

Have a good conversation with your father and respect his wishes. Get prepared, share time together. Good luck with everything. I hope he makes the best decision for himself.

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  • 2 weeks later...

GDE

how is your dad? Did he start treatments or is he still feeling well? I think alot of times people envision chemotherapy the way it used to be- grueling and toxic. While it's definitely no a cake-walk, there are so many drugs now that help with any side effects...and if it gets difficult he can always stop.

I hope your dad is still feeling well and I look forward to reading an update soon.

Best hopes and wishes for you both,

KatieB

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Hi Katie,

Have they checked to see if your dad is a candidate for targeted therapy (i.e., done genetic testing of the tumor)? I am on Tarceva, targeted therapy, and have no side effects but much effect on the cancer. That's great that your dad is feeling good—treatment is supposed to keep him feeling that way!

Debbie

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Hi, thanks everyone for your emails! I haven't logged on in a while! My dad was about to start chemo (the type wasn't confirmed) and he then called me and said "I can fight this without the chemo. I have a strong will to live, I have to much to do still and this is not going to stop me. He really has no symptoms that's what's so strange! No symptoms honestly; so it's really difficult to believe. I have been torn with this all. I wish I knew what was the right thing to do. He asked me what would you do and I honestly couldn't give him a truthful answer! I told him whatever you decide I am by your side...it's your body. He then replied my heart is telling me not to do it. I just hope we/he will not have regrets later. I am so confused! I really can't picture my life without him! I just hope that his strong will to live, his strong mind can help him get through this! He keeps saying Chemo for life is not a way of living, I've decided to live with my own mind/body and heart.

I will have a good conversation with my dad but I can't right now...I don't want to damper his spirits. He's been giving me strength as weird as that may sound. Really, thanks again for your posts and reaching out. I hope that you're all doing well :)

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  • 1 month later...

GDE. knowing what type of NSCLC he has and if he had mutation testing done to see if he can take a targeted drug which is not chemo might be helpful to him. Where is his cancer? Not all cancers are of the aggressive type. Chemo can knock you down for a short time, but give you a longer time to be here. Did he start chemo? If he did, do you know what it it? Take care, Judy

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  • 3 months later...

So many drugs and treatments...so many decisions...and no correct one for all. I do know that the earlier the intervention, whatever that may be, the better the outcome. He might be able to delay for a period of time...at least I hope he will go to the consults with you and hear what is said and actually see his scans. Wishing your family the best!

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