Dealing with my mom's diagnosis.......

[orange_krush]

My mom lives 10 hours away from me and was diagnosed 4 months ago with small cell lung carinoma which has mestasized to her bones causing several spinal fractures. I can only get what info she will give me regarding her prognosis but she states she refuses to talk to the doctor because she is in a positive frame of mind and she will not hear any bad news!

Anyhow she had radiation 15 days in a row and is now on her 4th round of chemo which is now being postponed due to low platelets. This mornng she was sent for a blood transfusion instead of her regular treatment. I'm pregnant and having such a hard time in dealing with all of this and the way she's handling it I guess. That stresses me out even more.

 

Not living right next to her makes it that much worse. She is my best friend and I can't stand being this far away!!

 

Do I just leave her be and let her deal with this the only way she knows how? All I can do is lend an ear, my love, support and prayer but I feel kind of helpless especially since I have no specs on survival.

 

[LizG]

Hi orange_krush,

 

My mom was diagnosed 6 months ago with NSCLC which also metastasized to her bones, leaving her with small fractures in her hip. I live 4 hours away from her so I understand how you feel.

 

I have learned to go with my gut. My initial reaction was that I needed to move home and be with my mom to help manage her care, but ultimately I haven't done that yet. I try to visit as much as I can and do the same- lend an ear and give love and support.

 

For me the hardest part is wanting to be able to make things better but knowing there's not much I can do. I've always been really close with my mom and we used to talk everyday, but now that she's sick and tired from chemo she isn't up for calls a lot. I have been added as someone who the doctors can share information with and since I'm not home to help physically I try to keep up with the doctors when I can and research the medicines she is on to help her know what to expect from the side effects and look for things that will help with nausea and pain. That helps me feel a little more in control and helpful, and it's also helped me to learn more about her disease and the expectations.

 

I'm really sorry you are going through the same thing I am but I hope it helps to know you aren't alone. I'm thinking of you.

 

Liz