Welcome to the world of depression.

[DeanCarl]

Welp, I kinda figured this was going to happen but I'd hoped to keep it at bay for awhile longer. As I've lost more and more of my ability to do the things I want to do I finally spiraled down into a depression. If you've seen some of my other posts here you know I know a little about clinical depression since I've delt with it most of my life. So I'm going to be taking my own advice and talk to my hospice nurse about anti-depressants when she comes over on Tuesday. Being a recovering alcoholic and drug addict I've shied away from using drugs to change my moods, but the situation is different now and I'm more than ready to use whatever tools, including medications, that are available to me so I can get back to the business of enjoying the time I have left.

So an apology is in order for me not answering PM's and other messages as quickly as I normaly have. However I do it I WILL get out of these "dumps" and be back to my somwhat normal self soon.

Dean

[TBone]

Good morning Dean,

I ,too,have suffered from addiction and clinical depression.I completed a 90 day treatment program for addiction/alcoholism around Thanksgiving and then all this cancer stuff happened.I tried all kinds of depression meds the past few years.This treatment center put me on Lexapro and it really made a big difference quickly for me.I had no response to some of the other common meds for depression.Lexapro worked for me and I saw results quickly too.I hope this helps.You are in my prayers.TBone

[karenl]

Dean

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. You give so much to so many people on this site - I hope you are able to find some peace and comfort of your own.

Karen

_____________

-Mother diagnosed with stage IV August 2003.

[cathy]

Dear Dean,

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I justed wanted to let you know you will be in my prayers...

[dadstimeon]

Hi Dean,

Just want you to no praying very hard for you. You’re a good man and offer a lot of sound advise for many of us. Love your paintings. Hang in there. Peace, take care and God Bless.

Rich

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The Power Of People Helping People / The Power Of Knowledge / The Power Of God / The Power Of Believing / The Power Of Positive Thinking / The Power Of Never Taking No For An Answer / United We Stand, Divided We Fall / That’s The Key

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I’m ready to meet my maker if and when the time comes. I don’t know if he’s ready to meet me. Winston Churchill

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https://cissecure.nci.nih.gov/ncipubs (NCI Publications Locator)

http://www.lungcancercoalition.org (Global Lung Cancer Coalition)

http://www.plwc.org/plwc/MainConstructo ... 008,00.asp (PLWC Feature: Financial Support Resources)

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/nycu/healt ... hqcanc.htm (Best Hospitals)

https://www.alcase.org/advocacy/sign_the_petition.html (Advocacy /Sign the Petition)

http://www.cancersymptoms.org (Oncology Nursing Society)

http://www.plwc.org/plwc/MainConstructo ... 08,00.html (Questions to Ask the Doctor)

http://www.alcase.org/education/publica ... reath.html (With Every Breath A Lung Cancer Guidebook / From ALCASE / A Wealth Of Information / Free)

http://www.cancersurvivaltoolbox.org (The Cancer Survival Toolbox / Free / From NCCS)

http://www.centerwatch.com (Clinical Trails Listing Service / Center Watch)

http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&editi ... ung+cancer (Lung Cancer In The News)

http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org/pro ... /guide.asp (The Wellness Community / National Cancer Support, Education And Support / Free)

http://www.drugs.com (Drug Information Online)

http://www.alcase.org (ALCASE / Alliance For Lung Cancer Advocacy, Support, Education)

http://www.nlm.nih.gov (Unites States / National Library Of Medicine)

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/encyclopedia.html (Health Information / Medical Encyclopedia)

http://www.google.com (Great Search Engine)

http://blochcancer.org (R.A. Bloch Cancer Foundation, Inc. / Please read: A Letter to all newly diagnosed cancer patients)

http://www.cancer.org (American Cancer Society)

http://www.cancer.gov (Cancer Information Service / NCI)

http://www.cancerresearchcenter.org (Cancer Research Center)

http://www.aicr.org (American Institute for Cancer Research; Nutrition Hotline / AICR)

http://www.cancerhopenetwork.org (Cancer Hope Network)

http://www.acor.org (Association of Cancer Online Resources / Free Online Lifeline For Everyone Affected By Cancer & Related Disorders)

http://www.meds.com/lung/lunginfo.html (Lung Cancer Information Library)

http://www.lungusa.org (American Lung Association)

http://www.ama-assn.org (American Medical Association)

http://www.docguide.com/news/content.ns ... g%20Cancer (Doctor’s Guide / Lung Cancer)

http://www.healthfinder.gov/Scripts/Sea ... ?topic=506 (Healthfinder)

http://www.medicinenet.com/Lung_Cancer/article.htm (Medicine Net)

http://www.cancerindex.org/clinks2l.htm (Cancer Index / Lung Cancer Resources Directory)

http://www.nfcr.org/site/PageServer?pag ... ncers_lung (National Foundation For Cancer Research)

http://www.patientadvocate.org (Patient Advocate Foundation)

http://www.lungcanceronline.org/effects ... fects.html (Lung Cancer Online / Hematologic (Blood) Effects)

http://www.cancerlinks.org/lung.html (Lung Cancer Links)

http://www.cancer-free.com (Cancer Free Connections)

http://www.healthinsite.gov.au/topics/C ... ung_cancer (Health Insite)

http://www.lungcancerclaims.com (Lung Cancer / Lung Cancer Information Page)

http://www.cancerlifecenter.com/engine. ... =dictionar (Cancer Life Center/ Cancer Dictionary)

http://www.canceryellowpages.com/Resour ... G%20CANCER (Cancer yellow Pages)

http://icare.org (ICARE / The International Cancer Alliance)

http://www.vh.org/index.html (Virtual Hospital)

http://www.lungcanceronline.org/support/financial.html (Lung Cancer Online / Financial, Legal & Insurance Issues)

http://cancernews.healthology.com/focus ... cancernews (Cancer News)

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[Remembering Dave]

Dean you owe us no appologies. Please know that we are always here for you. Talk to the nurse and get you some antidepresants, We need your wisdom.

David C

[gerbil runner]

Aww, Dean...hope you feel better soon.

[Ry]

Lean forward so I can slap you and say, "Snap out of it". Get the meds Dean, don't be afraid of that with your history. Hang in there.

[Joe B]

Dean,

Gina & I are praying for, and thinking of you.

Don't worry about us right now. Try and remember your own advice... stay in the moment... and handle each day as it comes.

Joe

[Lisa O]

You are always supporting so many people on this board. You really need to do whatever it takes to support yourself too. I am adding my prayers to those already offered. I get so much help, encouragement and I guess just plain FIGHT from reading your posts. I know you will fight the depression as well as you are fighting the other obstacles that get in your way. If you need weapons in your fight (be they medical, or otherwise) I am sure you will find them.

Lisa

[Pam]

Take care of yourself Dean, please, and know we are all praying for you....

[Don Wood]

First order of business -- TAKE CARE OF DEAN! Doctor's orders. Here's hoping and praying things get better soon, my friend. Don

[Guest]

If cancer is the Beast, then depression is it's pet snake. It slithers up to all of us at some point. Do what you need to do to be able to live well. Lot's of folks care...

[Margaret]

Dean,

Take care of yourself, fella. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Margaret

[kimblanchard]

Dean

If you were diabetic you would take insulin wouldn't you? Don't try and be so brave, you need the meds now, it is not a sign of weakness or dependency, it is a need. You don't need any excuses, just get them. We need you on here posting away and offering us your words of wisdom. Hang in there.

Bess B

[teresag]

Da%$#@ those stinking uncooperative depleted neurotransmitters! Get those chemicals to straighten up and walk right, Dean, and meanwhile just read; no need to answer until your strength is back.

Depression is a thief; it takes away one's creativity, insight, vigor, memory, volition, concentration, feelings, laughter, socializing; in short -all kinds of important things. But you will reclaim those things in time. Meanwhile, we're still here. Hang in there, Dean.

[-Cheryl-]

Dean,

This journey is such an emotional roller coaster. I echo the sentiments of others on this board. Your posts are so insightful and inspirational to others. It is so hard to remain positive when one faces the reality of a diagnosis such as lung cancer. Antidepressants have really helped me. I just switched to Lexapro myself. Side effects I have noticed are decreased appetite, nausea, headaches, and runny nose. Despite these minor side effects, I have noticed an improvement in my affect. They say that antidepressants are not addictive; however, you must titrate them when coming off. So, whose definition? I understand the commitment you have made "not to use chemicals to alter your mood," but these are extraordinary circumstances. Most SSRI's make people feel jittery. You may need to try more than one till you find the right one that works for you. It also helps me to get out of the house. Now that you have your scooter, I hope that you can get out a little more. Sunshine, critters, and God's beautiful earth always help brighten my day.

Cheryl

[J.C.]

Dean,

Can't add much to all that have been said already, just that

I am also pushing for you to get the medication needed to

fight your depression.

Good luck and a smile also.

J.C.

[shirleyb]

Hey poster boy!!

I am sorry you are feeling so down and out. I have been there recently and can understand what it feels like. Just know that I care about you and have come to have so much admiration for you. You helped me more than you or anyone else will ever know. I have to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for being who you are. When I was feeling so down and out, your posts were the ones I looked for, for I knew you had many words of wisdom that touched my soul to help me climb back up and to feel human again. Thank you dear wonderful man.

I hope this passes soon for you. Do what you must to get to feeling human again.

You are my sunshine!!!

Much love and many prayers going out to you and Gay.

Shirley

[Snowflake]

Dean,

Your friends are all waiting outside in the sunshine, waiting for you to come out and play. We, however, are not just fair-weather friends. If you need someone to sit on the foot of your bed and describe the sunshine to you and pull you out of your blue funk, we're all here and willing. Reach out, we're here!

Good move on the chemistry, depression is no way to make the most of life. Hope they get you on the right path soon. (My doctor told me 3-6 months before they really start to work - makes me think I have a constipated brain or something! Maybe if I had taken them with prune juice....)

If you need someone to talk to, give me a call. I'll PM my cell phone since "the boys" keep my phone line tied up most nights.)

Take care, big guy!

Becky

[shelliemacs]

to my friend Dean,

being honest, I am too in the deep well of depression. Both for myself and for my dad. I know how it creeps up behind you and you keep thinking you can out run, out wit the depression cloak, but somehow, someway it gets over you.

I have no words of wisdom, (could be the buspar for anxiety or the synthroid for my thyroid completely shutting down now too) but what I have to say is.

you INSPIRE me. you showed me today and every day how my own fear and sadness is nothing compared to the person with cancer. I was being so selfish for so long about how I would feel now that my father is going to die too. BUT what your posts make me realize is, its not about me. Its about HIM now. and YOU now and everyone on here with the cancer themselves. Yes I will ache, yes I will cry and be hollow for a little while, but to see how bravely my dad and you and all these patients are holding up and carrying on and LIVING today makes me see that I do not have yet what it takes to be selfless. You do, you give of yourself over and over to everyone on this board and I THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart Dean.

SO when your feeling sad Dean, lean over on me. actually you'd have to bend over since at the doctor this week I still only measured 4' 11" tall.

I will be your leaning post my friend.

[DeanCarl]

Thanks folks. I'm still going to check out getting some medications though I'm feeling a bit better tonight. The reason I'm feeling better is, of course, due largely to you folks. I don't have the words to describe how much you have ment to me over the last few months. Luckily I don't have to have the words since a singer/songwrite by the name of Gordon Lightfoot said them already:

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Rainy Day People by Gordon Lightfoot.

Rainy day people always seem to know when it’s time to call

Rainy day people don’t talk, they just listen till they’ve heard it all

Rainy day lovers don’t lie when they tell ’ya they’ve been down like you

Rainy day people don’t mind if you’re cryin’ a tear or two

If you get lonely, all you really need is that rainy day love

Rainy day people all know there’s no sorrow they can’t rise above

Rainy day lovers don’t love any others, that would not be kind

Rainy day people all know how it hangs on a piece of mind

Rainy day lovers don’t lie when they tell you, they’ve been down there too

Rainy day people don’t mind if you’re cryin’ a tear or two.

Rainy day people always seem to know when you’re feeling blue

High stepping strutters who land in the gutters sometimes need one too

Take it or leave it, or try to believe it

If you’ve been down too long

Rainy day lovers don’t hide love inside they just pass it on

Rainy day lovers don’t hide love inside they just pass it on

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You are all my "Rainy Day People"

Dean

[BeckyCW]

Dean,

I've only "known" you for 6 days now, and already you've become a very important person to me. I've read so many of your messages and one from your wife; you are an extraordinary couple.

The wisdom in your posts has meant the world to me already, and I can only imagine how attached to you everyone is who has been here awhile.

Once again, you're being wise to recognize the depression for what it is and get the help you need. I would guess you have a long history of doing just that -- getting the help you need, because that enables you, in turn, to help others and to lead the kind of life you value.

How can we get more Deans in this world?! You're important to me, and I wish you better times ahead, and soon.

BeckyCW

[ginnyde]

Dear Dean,

You know that the hidden thread of this board is "Better Living Through Chemistry".

We need you here, your insight, your wisdom, your caring. Antidepressants are just another pill we need to take to feel better. Earl was only diagnosed a few months when I asked the dr. for an Rx. He has been on Zoloft ever since. Seems to keep him steady.

We are here for you Dean and praying for you.

Ginny

[Debaroo]

Dean, we LOVE YOU, and remember, depression is NOT A CHARACTER FLAW, IT IS A CHEMICAL one=get the medication you need to get help get you through this thing...we are here. Deb