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I've been cheatin' on you guys


KatieB

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It's not that serious.--but let me tell you--before rick created this message board--I had NEVER utilized a message board before for support, ever.

You guys spoil me. Here I am thinking that all message boards are supposed to be like this.....so...a-hem....I signed up on an adoption message board. Here I am thinking I can get some advise from those who have been in my shoes--birthmother issues and concerns--just plain support--- INSTEAD, I am reading posts where people are slamming each other and one mom tells another mom it's this way and another poster tells someone it should be that way and then you have birthmoms who gave their children up 5, 10, even 15 years ago coming into the message board to tell all adoptive moms that they are useless and should spend their days thanking them, even if they did do drugs.....

AGGGGGGghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... It was INSANE.

I'm thinking....we have a message board where people are facing REAL issues and REAL life threatening scenarios and REAL stress and REAL fear ---YET

YET

YET, you guys turn around and support each other--not one issue is more important than the next, not one person is made to feel insignificant, not one person is made to feel "odd one out"...everyone supports each other no matter where we are in this journey--the beginning, middle, end, or on the outside---we are all here for each other.

Man, we really have it good here guys.

Thank God for all of you and thank god we have each other.

Sending out blessings for heath and happiness---

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Oh Katie, can we talk? We are fortunate that our adoption agency does a lot of things to help parents throughout and after the adoption process. They have lots of conferences and speakers that they bring in on various issues. They also do an annual picnic. My kids love this, there are hundreds of kids there from various countries. They get to see lots of families just like theirs.

Will tell you on the birth mother/adoption issue every kid handles it differenlty. Tyler and Caitlin are complete opposites about what they want to know and how they deal with it. You won't know how to prepare for that one till Kennedy is about 5, and starts asking.

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Thanks guys. There is no contact with the b-parents except for the pictures they requested twice a year this first year. I don't know how it will be a few years from now, but I had to let ya'll know the experience I had with that other board.

Ry: Because this was essentially "private" (our friends-neighbor-daughter-co-worker, etc...) our lawyer/agency did nothing for us except draw the paperwork. We're flying by the seat of our pants in trying to decipher how we should relate to the b-parents, if at all, because of their exsisting lifestyle choices which are very unhealthy. They don't want contact right now anyway, so you're right. We'll be just fine and take our cues from Kennedy in the years to come whichever direction that leads us.

Boy, being here puts everything in my life in perspective. First it was with dad's cancer diagnosis. That made all the "little" stuff people sweat everyday seem petty and time wasting. Now, just by coming here and knowing all of you, it makes me realize that no matter what I face in life, I am lucky to have what I have and everything else is fixable or forgetable.

Thank you.

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On the adoption issue. My daughter gave up a little boy 2 years ago for adoption. He was adopted by some folks we know who live in the same town we do. Since my daughter has 1 son (4) she did not feel she could raise 2 and go to school. The adoptive parents are very nice people and I made a deal with them that I would always have he chance to see "him" as a friend of the family. No matter who his "parents" are he will ALWAYS be MY grandson. They plan to tell him he is adopted, in fact his baby book is an "Adopted Child" babybook with place for information on the birth family. I see him a couple of times a year at the park or at the circus or in the store so this way I know he is well and happy. We also wanted to be sure since the 2 boys will be going to school together that they know (as they get older) that they are brothers.

He will know that he was loved by us also.

God Bless,

MO

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Katie,

First off a REALLY BIG "Thank you" to you and to ALL of you who have taken the time, given the effort, and shown the love to adopt someone who otherwise may never know what real love is all about. That comes from an adoptee (me). I was adopted as a 3 day old baby and a lot of the good of who I am today is a direct result of the strengh and love I recieved from the people who will forever be my Mom and Dad.

As for the internet and other message boards and such. I've first hooked up the to "net" in 1985. The web was just barely in existance and all the "buzz" was about HTML2. Usenet groups were all the rage. I bought one of the very first 1200bd modems and was the envy of the "neighborhood".

Since that time I've been on a LOT of different message boards and groups. And I can tell you without reservation THIS is the best group of folks I have ever been associated with .... anywhere.

Dean

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Yep, you discovered it! This board is very unique in its love, support and info. I was on another board for lung cancer when I joined this one. The other one was -- well, the kindest thing I can say is -- "unhelpful". I finally dropped out. We have a great thing going here, thanks to Rick and you guys, but especially to all the people who come here and give of themselves even though they are hurting. And isn't that the way it should be! Halleluiah! Don

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I had to chime in here. When David told me about this message board, I thought, "yeah, that's good," because I "lurk" on a list-serve for parents of kids with cancer (due to my work raising money for research for that cause). And I've seen how people can get very close from sharing such intimate parts of their lives -- people who have something uncommon in common, so to speak. The group I know of occasionally has rifts and argues about things, but basically is very supportive of one another. So I was happy for David having found something like this.

But until I actually spent a little time here myself, I didn't understand what an incredible, really awesome, thing this was. Now I get it. This is different -- It's truly not normal! :) If only the rest of the world treated each other the way this group does -- with such support and respect, sharing important information and ideas, laughing and crying with each other... You folks are really something special.

BeckyCW

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