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New. Mom is not doing good


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Hello. So we just found out our mom 72 has stage 4 bone and lung cancer. She went in not knowing or being sick. She had Pneumonia 3rd time in the ER that month and found this. She was in for 15 days. Then released. Well yesterday I came in from out of town and she is not doing good. Really tired all the time and weak. Can't eat or do anything. Found bed sores on her. So we took her to ER again and right away they say. she is not doing good we need to admit her. All her stuff blood, scanns and heart are worse then when she came home 6 days ago. Now they are telling us we have 72 hours to see if the meds they give her will work on the infections or if she has just a few weeks left. I'm scared and don't know what to do or think. 

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Hi, Terri,

Welcome, and I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.  I'm brand new to this, myself (surgery next week), so I'm afraid I don't have any helpful advice or information for you, but there will be folks along in a bit who can be more helpful.  Just wanted to send you some hugs and support.  I lost my mom 30 years ago (to a different type of cancer) and it's a very helpless feeling to be dealing with something like that.  On a personal note, as well as getting the best care that you can for your mom, remember to take good care of yourself, too.  Find out from the hospital whether there are any groups for caregiver support--cancer is hard on everyone in the family.

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Good morning, Terri.  I'm so sorry that your family has to deal with this.  Cancer stinks.  The toll it takes on both patients and family is horrible. Have any of your mom's physicians discussed palliative (not hospice) care?  If not, ask what is available.  The care provided can give your mom some relief from her symptoms while her docs try meds.


 We're here for you.  Please let us know if you have any questions or if we can assist you in any way.

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I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, Terri.  I agree with Susan that palliative care is a good idea. Also, if it truly looks like no treatment is possible and she only has a few weeks left, please look into hospice. I've seen hospice services provide care and comfort for several people and their families. One was my own mom, who went into hospice less than a week before her death.  She had metastatic breast cancer, with spread all over her body. She came out of the hospital where they could do nothing for her  and went to a wonderful place where they kept her pain free in a dignified and respectful way.. I slept there on the couch--I had comefrom another state. All in all, it was a positive experience.

Of course you are scared and don't know what to do. I wish comfort  for both you and your mother. It's good that you are there for her.


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Sorry I am late responding.

I agree with the suggestions for palliative care and hospice.  Here is some information on palliative care to help you understand its purpose and intent.

My wife and I investigated hospice care for me after a fourth line treatment recurrence.  We'd had a very frank discussion of the alternatives with my primary care physician and oncologist who both thought that was the right approach.  

I am very sorry about your mother's condition and hope she recovers from the infections quickly.

Stay the course.


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