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update stepson


bes

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My stepson has made a turn for the worse he was transported to a major hospital in our area by helicopter due to vomiting blood and breathing difficulty a few days ago.

He is on life support at this time and the outcome is not promising.  The family believes that he was hiding his cancer diagnosis because it is extensive stage 4 squamous carcinoma; the same as my husband but his is more widespread. He had had 3 biopsies in the last 2 months and we were told he had to know.  He told us it was only a 2cm nodule and that it was benign and then he told us it was cancer and had grown.  The family is devastated with this news it certainly was not what we were expecting.  My husband is heart broken; he lost his daughter to small cell lung cancer just 5yrs ago and now he is going to lose his son.  It's awful.  Please keep up in your thoughts.

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We just returned from the hospital and they are still not able to remove the tube he was more alert but that's all.  We were able to talk with the head nurse and she answered many of our questions; He was diagnosed with lung cancer in May and when he fell and broke his ribs they then discovered it had spread to the bones.  She told us there was not much hope because his lungs are so damaged but because of his young age 54 they were trying their best so perhaps he could do radiation or chemo but at this point he is too weak to do either.  My husband and I were shocked to find out he had cancer that long--so he did in fact hide it from the family--I feel so bad for my husband.  They told us his cancer was probably more aggressive due to the fact that he was still smoking.  What ever made him decide to tell the story he did we will probably never know.  He told us it was a 2cm nodule and that it was not cancer and then a few months later told us he had a pet scan and it was cancer. It's just so sad.  He was to be married this summer and his fiancée had no idea either--what a shame.

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bes,

I am so sorry your son is still hospitalized and that you are now just learning the extent of his lung cancer.  Why did he not reveal his disease?  I wouldn't know but in my early pre-diagnostic stage, I did everything I could do to avoid seeing a doctor.  I knew I had a serious problem (coughing up blood) but I was afraid to learn the cause.  At the time, I was a former smoker but previous to quitting, I was a heavy smoker and truthfully, I had a lot of guilt about my smoking behavior.  I thought avoiding the doctor would postpone facing my guilt.  Fortunately, my wife took charge and I reluctantly moved through the diagnostic process.

I was also afraid. I'd read about lung cancer and in 2004, the survival conditions were bleak.  So, I thought avoiding the doctor would avoid the consequences of a diagnosis.  Fear makes people do irrational things.

I encourage you and your family to close arms around your son and help him make decisions about his future.  Feel free to ask any questions you may have here on this forum.  

Stay the course.

Tom

 

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