What does not kill you, makes you stronger. Your thoughts?

[simone22]

I saw a music video with a focus on "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It got me thinking. I used to believe this was true but now I just don't know.

I mean, looking back on the struggle I've gone through to help my mom with her cancer, yes - there's truth in this cliche. One must never give up, no matter how hard it becomes. As long as you're alive, you have to fight. No matter what. On the other hand, it's much harder to cling to those words when we're in the thick of an issue.

But that's just my humble opinion. So, what are your thoughts on this? Do you agree or disagree?

Take care!

[LynnArm]

Hi, I agree.  I had my first open lung biopsy in 2006.  They found that my mesothelial tissue was becoming abnormal.  I thought that I was dying.  So did my family. They dealt with it by looting my storage space of 30 years of antiques, music equipment, clothes, art supplies, books , record albums.  Any thing of value.  I was cheated out of my inheritance.  I cried everyday for 3 years.  But I came back like a phoenix.  A completely different person.  People can't believe how different I am. Stronger, happier,  focused, and aware of what is really important in life.  I haven't had a storage space since, and I never will again.  I now realize the best things in life are not things.  I do not own more than my apartment can hold. I do not buy what I don't have the cash to buy.  And my artwork is booming.  I speak my mind.  I do not allow people in my life who just "tolerate" me.  I will drop a toxic person so fast.   I am still loving and silly and playful....until I'm not.   You fight Simone, be your own advocate, speak your truths.  We all come here to learn something - IMO.  But make sure you take rest days in between the battle days.  Don't forget your bliss.  <3  

 

LynnA

[BridgetO]

I think that whatever doesn't kill you CAN make you stronger, but it doesn't necessarily. I  was about to say " It depends on what you make of it", but that isn't quite right either. I''ve survived three different cancers, one of them advanced and aggressive--it left me with a bunch of long term side effects. 

I don't like the language of "fighting" or the "war on cancer". It sounds exhausting. It IS exhausting. I don't like reading obituaries that say "she lost her battle with cancer". It sounds like if she had only fought harder, she would still be alive, maybe forever. This disease is a disease,  for me it's not a "curse" or a "terrorist".  I haven' t yet found  language I"m satisfied with, but maybe "coping with cancer" is OK for me. 

I'm  living my life as best I can, or maybe not as best I can, but well enough. I've learned to be gentle with myself. I want to live as long as I can, and in as much peace and comfort as I can. I'm into information-- what can I  learn about the cancers I've had and how can that help be to live longer? I do think a lot of this is random. Maybe some choices I've made have increased my risk, but basically  It's bad luck that I got these illnesses. I'm not to blame. And whether they recur, and when, I may be able to influence by decisions I make, but I believe it's largely random, too.

I've learned a lot about cancer and about myself through this journey. I don't know if I'm stronger, but I AM different. If I had a choice, I'd give up what I've learned in exchange for never having had cancer. But unfortunately, no choice.  So, I see what I can make of what I've been dealt.

A few years back I read a cancer memoir that infuriated me. The author saw her treatment as horrific and abusive and her whole cancer experience as degrading. While I was reading it,I keep saying  to my spouse, "Do you know what she said NOW?!"   I eventually looked closely at my reactions. I came to understand that, just as each of us  with cancer can make our own decisions about our treatment, we can also make our own decisions about how we think about cancer and treatment and how we talk about it to others and to ourselves.  So I understand that other people experience and talk about their disease in different ways and that's OK. I do what works for me.

So,if it makes sense to you that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, then great! Or if thinking of this as a fight helps you cope and survive, great!  We have no choice about getting cancer, but we do have some choices about how we experience it.

Bridget O

[LynnArm]

15 hours ago, BridgetO said:

I think that whatever doesn't kill you CAN make you stronger, but it doesn't necessarily. I  was about to say " It depends on what you make of it", but that isn't quite right either. I''ve survived three different cancers, one of them advanced and aggressive--it left me with a bunch of long term side effects. 

I don't like the language of "fighting" or the "war on cancer". It sounds exhausting. It IS exhausting. I don't like reading obituaries that say "she lost her battle with cancer". It sounds like if she had only fought harder, she would still be alive, maybe forever. This disease is a disease,  for me it's not a "curse" or a "terrorist".  I haven' t yet found  language I"m satisfied with, but maybe "coping with cancer" is OK for me. 

I'm  living my life as best I can, or maybe not as best I can, but well enough. I've learned to be gentle with myself. I want to live as long as I can, and in as much peace and comfort as I can. I'm into information-- what can I  learn about the cancers I've had and how can that help be to live longer? I do think a lot of this is random. Maybe some choices I've made have increased my risk, but basically  It's bad luck that I got these illnesses. I'm not to blame. And whether they recur, and when, I may be able to influence by decisions I make, but I believe it's largely random, too.

I've learned a lot about cancer and about myself through this journey. I don't know if I'm stronger, but I AM different. If I had a choice, I'd give up what I've learned in exchange for never having had cancer. But unfortunately, no choice.  So, I see what I can make of what I've been dealt.

A few years back I read a cancer memoir that infuriated me. The author saw her treatment as horrific and abusive and her whole cancer experience as degrading. While I was reading it,I keep saying  to my spouse, "Do you know what she said NOW?!"   I eventually looked closely at my reactions. I came to understand that, just as each of us  with cancer can make our own decisions about our treatment, we can also make our own decisions about how we think about cancer and treatment and how we talk about it to others and to ourselves.  So I understand that other people experience and talk about their disease in different ways and that's OK. I do what works for me.

So,if it makes sense to you that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, then great! Or if thinking of this as a fight helps you cope and survive, great!  We have no choice about getting cancer, but we do have some choices about how we experience it.

Bridget O

Thank you Bridget O, Beautifully said.