Jump to content



Recommended Posts


Welcome. Don't have a lot of experience with where you're coming from, but will share what I have. My husband had a tumor a few years ago actually in his spine just below where all the nerves who branch off to the rest of the body are located. He was also quite hostile with me at times. I cried over that because I thought it indicated that we didn't have the good relationship I had thought we had. But he was in so much pain I couldn't be angry. That tumor was pressing all of those nerves against the hard bones of his spine. The only time he was out of pain was when they knocked him totally out with I. V. drugs. We talked about this later after all this was past. He told me even though he knew it was unreasonable he was angry because I didn't and couldn't know what he was going through. He'd been given all sorts of heavy pain meds and sleeping pills during our 3 trips to the emergency room and wanted to just keep on taking them when the pain didn't stop rather than take them as directed. I wouldn't let him because I was afraid he'd O. D. Then in the hospital he was amazingly rude and angry with me while I tried to take care of him. Our children even became angry with him watching this. That turned out to be a side effect of the morphine he was being given for pain. Have heard others say they've seen this happen. As soon as he was taken off the morphine he was his own sweet self again. The tumor was benign. We got through that. And he is taking wonderful care of me through this cancer. 

As far as being angry because he's had all the tests and it's been months and no treatment is happening I'd be angry too. I have great docs and health care providers but sometimes you have to make a little noise and be persistent about it so that you don't slip through the cracks because they are so overwhelmed with patients. My Medical Oncologist actually told me that at the beginning when I couldn't seem to get an appointment with him to get my treatment started. And since I've never been a shrinking violet when it comes to being my own advocate for medical care I've done that when necessary. I hope I haven't been rude with them but I have been insistent and persistent at times. 

The advice to find a caregiver group in your area is excellent. Hope some of this helps. And we're always here if you need to vent. I'm sure you'll soon hear from some caregivers who have walked in your shoes. 

Judy M. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.