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does it ever get easier


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hello all

my husband is diagnosed with lc recently . He is 35and we have two young kids. My life is shattered. I am always worried and anxious. Trying had to get hold of my emotions. I am scared about what if. I want to know does it ever get better? Will we ever ve able to go back to our normal self. Will I be able to give normal childhood to my kids. I keep these emotions hidden and keep myself busy all the time. I am not sure how to gain control over my worries. Please guide me through. I am a mess.

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My life is completely back to normal a year after my surgery.  I go for my tests every six months (which gives me a few days of anxiety), but for the most part I don't even think about the cancer (except for posting here to support others and stay connected for the sake of staying on top of things).  I plan big vacations and buy tickets for concerts and plays next year.  I ASSUME that the cancer is gone, while staying vigilant so any recurrence could be treated promptly.  

Keep posting here.  This is a great place for support, and you will find people dealing with even advanced cancers living their lives and adjusting to a "new normal."  But in your husband's case there's every reason to believe he can put this in the past once he's done with treatment.  

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The truth is- none of us know if your life will be back to the normal you once knew.  Being new to cancer and being uncertain about treatments, side effects, etc...that can make you feel very anxious, worried and devastated.  You may even feel out of control.  Things do get better.  Once you begin to navigate thru treatment and get a routine, once you get to know your medical team and you feel your husband is adequately supported--you begin to feel more steady.

 What you can concentrate on now is this "new" normal you have.  Take things one day at a time--after all a mountain before you looks huge- but with one step at a time -you an climb it.

Take some time out of everyday to do "normal" things with kids.  Leave cancer out of the conversation.  Make them the center of attention for a little bit each day.  Maybe you and your kids take a walk together every day or tell special bedtime stories at night.  Those are the times your kids will remember.  Kids are so resilient.  They just want to be and feel loved and in their world everything is all about them!

Also, don't forget to take care of you while you are caring for your husband.  Get and accept as much help that is offered to you.   Take breaks away from caregiving and get rest when you can.  

My hope for you is that your husband will do very well with treatment and life will become stable for you soon.  

Please keep posting.  You are not alone and we are here to help.


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I am unable to give likes here. But kattie I am really scared. God has given us hope but when I read around I feel so helpless at times. I was happy Katie . I was so happy with my kids and husband. Now everything seems the thing of the past. I am anxious all the time.

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I agree with KatieB take one day at a time my husband has stage 4 lung cancer and I can relate to your feeling helpless.  I too was so happy with my life I retired 2yrs ago and certainly didn't think my retirement would be like this; We were looking forward to many vacations; trips abroad and at home and then cancer struck.  I try to do a little everyday I make sure my husband is ok and then I take 15minute walk around the neighborhood.  When he naps I get on the computer or read or just sit in my garden.  This place has been my haven these people offer help and a shoulder to cry on--they all realize how hard it is for the person with cancer and the caregiver. Please don't be afraid to post anything you won't be judged

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