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Surviving Spouse of an SCLC Patient


Garry

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I would like to introduce myself, I am Garry, my wife Melissa passed away on Oct. 20, 2017. Missy had been diagnosed in the latter part of Sept. after a trip to the ER. On Oct. 17th, she was administered her first round of Chemo, three days later she was gone at the age of 63. I don't whatelse to say. Thank you.

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Hi, Garry,

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  This is an awful disease, and so many people are not diagnosed until it is too late.

Please let us know what we can do to support you.  How have you been coping?  If you think it might help, I know many hospitals and cancer centers have grief support groups.  Some people turn to advocacy, too, as a way to deal with grief--publicizing or participating in awarenesses and fundraising campaigns.

Glad you found us.

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Thank you all so very much for your thoughts. As the anniversary of Melissa leaving me gets closer, I am still confused as to why this happened so fast. We were married for 20 years and had just renewed our vows in Feb. 2017. Again, thank you so very much for your thoughts.

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The sad reality is that often by the time this disease produces actual physical symptoms, it may be so far advanced there is little that can be done.  I was lucky enough to have mine found during a lung cancer screening due to my smoking history, and other people may find it earlier when they are being checked out for something unrelated--it just shows up on the scan or x-ray and it's early enough that treatment can be effective.

Knowing the medical/scientific "why" doesn't provide much comfort, though.  Not when you lose someone you love, and especially when you haven't had a chance to say goodbyes.  

The two of you made a lovely couple--I love that picture!  Feel free to share anything about Missy that you'd like.  

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LexieCat thank you for your kind words. Missy did smoke and had been since she was14. This all occured after Hurricane Irma. We thought that is was allegeries brought on by the storm. I took her to the hospital, they ran tests and did a chest x-ray and found the mass by her right lung. One of the ER physicians is a friend of mine and showed me the x-ray. As I stated, Missy had one round of chemo and passed three days later. Her last words to me were, "thank you for 20 years." I had gone to GriefShare, however, it really did nothing for me. If you know of support group here is Central Florida, please let me know. I am sure that we will talk again. Thank you.

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That's crazy Garry I was diagnosed after Irma as well. I thought my lingering cough was post storm allergy- related too. I let mine go much longer than I should have though. It finally worsened enough to send me to ER in January thinking it had turned into bronchitis. 

I still think that storm stressed me out so bad it made the cancer worse!

What county are you in or near? I'd be happy to ask about support groups through my oncologist's office for you. I believe our Baycare system here reaches to central FL..I'll check on it.

What a beautiful pic of you and Missy! 😘

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Garry, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear Melissa.  With the anniversary of her death, you're probably feeling your loss even more than usual. Let us know what we can do to support you. Hang in there.

Bridget O

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Welcome I am so sorry for your loss as a stage 4 lung cancer patient I can say be thankful it was so fast she didn't have to suffer for very long I know this sounds cruel but you should find comfort in that this is a horrible life changing diagnosis I'm sorry again for the loss of your wife if you ever just want or need to talk I'm here 

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