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Emily Golden

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I am not sure if I am allowed to be part of your site or not. 

I am a widow almost a year now.  My husband went into the hospital for a simple bronchoscopy.  He even drove us to the procedure.  Unfortunately during the procedure the doctor touched a vessel that was covering a tumor in his lung.  He went into full cardiac arrest, they had to provide him CPR for 13 minutes and blood transfusions. He had been a lifelong smoker, drank alcohol, was overweight,  and had kidney issues.  Unfortunately, they had to put him on a respirator.  They informed me because the cancerous tumor was so big and had probably spread to other areas of his body, they could only do radiation.  Doctors refused to try to re-do the bronchoscopy, because they didn't think he could survive the procedure.  So they could not properly diagnose the cancer.  So no chemotherapy or surgery could be performed.  The doctors told me that the remainder of his life he would require oxygen and nursing care and then probably be back in the hospital within a couple of months due to cancer to pass away.  

So at 47 years old, I had to make the grueling choice to remove him from the respirator.  We were able to bring him home and he was able to pass away comfortably at our house with in home nursing.  

I have felt so much guilt over the past 11 months - wishing I could have done something to make him better.  I was never really his care giver.  I just sat by his hospital bedside for about 3 weeks crying and praying that he would get better.  Please let me know if I can be a part of your group.  I wish I could find a local group in the Atlanta area too.

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Hi, Emily, and welcome!  You are CERTAINLY welcome here.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  That's one of the really awful things about lung cancer--so often by the time anyone realizes it's there, it's too late.  I was one of the truly fortunate whose cancer was caught at an early stage by screening, which is appropriate only for people of a certain age with a certain smoking history.  

Apart from cancer support groups, you might want to seek out local grief support groups--those are often easier to find and there are more of them.  You can check with any of your local hospitals or with a social worker at one of them.

I'm glad you were able to bring him home at the end.

Sending a hug...

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Hi Emily, welcome here.  I am happy you found us.  When I read your experience with your husband's lung cancer, my heart broke.  We truly never know how long we have with our loved ones or how long our loved ones have with us.  I am so very sorry you had to make the choice to remove your husband from the respirator.  I don't know if there is anything worse than having to be the one to make that choice.  You are strong for having survived that ordeal.  When my mom was diagnosed the 2nd time with lung cancer, I lost all hope and was completely lost.  I am thankful that my husband worked nights so he wouldn't see me bawl my eyes out night after night.  During one of my middle-of-the-night Googling sessions, I found LUNGevity and these forums.  I felt (and feel) so supported here.  The online friends I have made literally saved me from my grief.  I'm hoping we can do the same for you.  

Take Care,

Steff

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I say you are definitely welcome this group is to inform learn and support and as a 41 year old stage 4 lung cancer patient I don't think you should feel guilty he got to pass at home peacefully and that's what we truly want and to do treatment for no reason if it's not going to change the outcome is just to much on the body and mind I only hope my family will be strong enough to make the best choice for me and not themselves

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