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emjay

Husband just diagonosed small cell Lung Cancer

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I am so sleep deprived and sad.  He had partial lung removed years ago and still smoked.  Now Christmas he was admitted to ER and kept 5 days.  When he came home he refused to stop exertion and was readmitted 5 days later.  Now he will come home and be even sicker.  I cannot sleep and do have help driving from my daughter but she has a business and children etc.  My other daughter has MS and does not feel well very often.  My husband is approaching 80 and smoked all his life.  I never smoked.  This is the first consequence for this man other than the earlier Lung surgery.  He is in complete denial even when the Oncoligist says it was caused by smoking.  Granted he worked construction with chemicals and sawdust, lots of that, and insists it is job related.  He is furious and nasty.

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I'm so sorry, emjay.  It sounds like a difficult situation for all of you.  Does your husband have a treatment plan, yet?  I'd suggest asking your daughter if she can help make some calls for some assistance with transportation and any other help you might need.  Maybe the social worker at the hospital where he's being treated can help connect you/her with some resources.  

It's very difficult to stop smoking when you're addicted, even when you know how bad it is for you.  The one thing that worked to keep me off cigarettes is switching to e-cigarettes. It isn't the nicotine that causes cancer; it's breathing in the products of burning tobacco.  My oncologist knows I still vape and considers me a "non-smoker".  Obviously it would be better if he could quit, but I'm just throwing this out there as an alternative that would probably be safer.  

Please be sure to take care of yourself--make an appointment with your own doctor if you continue to have trouble sleeping.  It won't help either of you if you get sick, too.  

And I'm not sure what "furious and nasty" means, in this context, but don't allow him to be abusive toward you.  If he is, please call your local women's shelter or the Domestic Violence Hotline and talk with an advocate.  They won't report anything--they are completely confidential--but they can help you make a safety plan for yourself.  Being sick is not a license to be abusive.  If none of this applies, you can disregard, but I want to be sure you take care of your own safety and well-being.  

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Hi emjay and welcome,

I'm  sorry you're in such a hard situation. LexieCat is right o all counts. Please take care of yourself and ask for help. The hospital social worker would be a good place to start.

Bridget O

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