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Dad has mets in bone


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My dad , 51 , on Septmeber 2018 was diagnosed with lung cancer (squamous).Doctors said that the stage was 3A.He started neoadjuvant chemotherapy (carboplatin + paclitaxel).After 3 cycles, the tumor started shrinking.He had 3 more chemo cycles and doctors thought that this time they'll be able to do the surgery, but today the doc told us that the cancer has spread in bone (sternum) . It's really difficult for me to see my dad's frustration.I thought that maybe he'll be alive for my graduation and this was a big motive for my to keep studying.Now I feel completly lost.


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Welcome here! I note you are from Serbia. 

I also had neoadjuvant chemotherapy and conventional radiation to shrink my squamous cell tumor before surgery.  In my case, my tumor size was reduced enough to permit surgery. I recall investing a lot of hope in my neoadjuvant treatment and so I really understand your dad's frustration.

In the US, radiation oncologists are getting very aggressive treating tumors, including bone mets, with precision radiation. You can follow this link and read about IMRT, IGRT and SBRT.  I had SBRT following a recurrence after my right lung was removed and it worked. So perhaps precision radiation is a treatment option you might ask about.

I would encourage you to continue to study and graduate regardless of your dad's treatment experience.  I think he'd encourage you also.

Stay the course.



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I echo Tom's suggestion about continuing your studies.  As a caregiver and care advocate, I know how easy it is to put your life on hold to help care for your loved one.  But the reality is that our loved ones likely don't want us to do that.  After all, we all have lives to live and no matter what happens with  your dad's lung cancer, he will likely pass before you.  You have the rest of your life to live after that.  Education greatly effects life, not only with job possibilities, but with wisdom and knowledge that enhances our overall life.  But this is all coming from a knowledge junkie.

As Tom said, here in the US, bone mets are being treated very aggressively with positive results.  Just because surgery isn't an option and the lung cancer has metastasized does not mean there is a death sentence attached.  There are new and improved treatment options available every day, which means the days of lung cancer being an automatic death sentence are gone.  

Your lost feeling, your questions about your own life, and any other negative feeling is all normal with a lung cancer diagnosis.  But feeling lost eventually subsides and the negative feelings turn into motivation to learn all that you can to be a good advocate for your dad's medical treatment.  I am happy you have found LUNGevity and know that we are here for you.

Take Care,


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Definitely don’t stop studying just because your dad’s sick.  If you have to take time off to help care for him that’s one thing, but throwing in the towel on school will have long term repercussions.  I’m sure you want him to fight through this, you should too.  Having a loved one going through this is a really helpless feeling.  I did it with my father.  I completely understand questioning what the point is to something as seemingly meaningless as school when something like this is happening to someone you love.  Having something to look forward to like your graduation could be the motivation your dad needs to keep fighting.  He won’t want to miss that and will surely fight to be there.  


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