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Tick-tock, tick-tock.


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On Tuesday I meet with the radiology oncologist at the University hospital. He's going to review my scans, talk to me and then discuss my case with a surgeon at that facility. He'll tell me the results of that a few days afterward. I have a high degree of trust in that facility after they fixed my heart with a high-tech bypass in 2003. Let's assume I hear back from him on Friday. If I'm not a candidate, end of discussion. If I am, that gives me less than five days to decide between having my upper right lobe removed or radiation, et al.

I'm having a hard time distracting myself from it being all I think about every waking hour. I'm not used to this. Work has always been my escape and now I have none. 

This gift of being diagnosed by such accident should calm me, but somehow it doesn't.

I shall struggle on.

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Hi there,

Yeah, been there done that. Waiting sucks and we all know it.  There’s no way around it only through it, peace remains elusive for a few days post results for me.  Then I hit a reset button and get going again until the next scan time. 

I had to stop working after diagnosis so the typical work distraction went right out the window.  I found a different way of coping with my fun bucket.  I go to the spa, schedule message, dinner & movies, gym  and whatever else I feel like doing, even it’s utterly mundane like cleaning out my closets.  

What you’re experiencing now is totally normal, each and everyone of us has been through this.  For  now it’s hour by hour, day by day one test at a time and I can tell you there are brighter days on the horizon.  


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I''m  waiting to see if my CT shows growth, and if so, how much, etc.  The waiting just for a diagnosis is making me nutty enough.  About the only thing that helps other than amusing myself and keeping busy is playing what if.  I think of worst case, best cause, biggest pain in the neck case, etc.  Once I've managed all of the cases I can think of, I decide how to reward myself for all that work.  Mexican hot chocolate is nice.

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This phase of diagnosis is definitely all consuming.  Things do settle in once a clear path and treatment plan are formed.   There are plenty of variables to consider when evaluating both those options.  If you have specific questions on either ask away.   There are plenty of us here who have been through one or both.   

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