Jump to content
Robb6767

WHY DO WE KEEP FIGHTING THE INEVITABLE?

Recommended Posts

Yes we all know that we are going to pass on some day. My question is, why do we keep fighting it? I am sure that many are thinking that our family's and friends need us, or we just want to keep living as long as we can. But the fact of it all is we will pass away no matter what we try. 

Are we trying to live to be 200-300 years old? Get real, we are not guaranteed any thing. Will our quality of life be any greater? I dont think so. All we are doing is putting a burden on others.  

Think about it, if we would just accept our own mortality and deal with the cards that were given to us, accept it for what it is and believe in a higher power, we should be at piece with ourselves. Who are we kidding?  Yes our loved ones will miss us, but think about it, we have all lost a loved one in our lives,.weather it be a parent, sibling, co worker or ect... We sorrowed the loss , but life goes on..

I think that we should all accept the fact that we will die one day and that there is nothing that we can do about it. Ask your Dr. for pain medicine and start smoking marijuana... We can not stop the inevitable. Accept it for what it is.

Just my thoughts. I hope you all will understand.

Rob

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Interesting thoughts.

I suppose you would probably get more banter if you weren't on a website called LUNGEVITY, 

as in LONGEVITY, 

as in long life,

as in the will to live,

as in self preservation,

as in finding value in my current life despite my cancer, 

as in not fighting but utilizing science to improve the quality of my life,

as in my disease can be currently controlled,

as in not being powerless and nothing is inevitable until the fat lady sings,

as in believing in hope,

as in believing and looking forward to tomorrow,

as in believing in joy when I see the innocence and wonder in my grandchildren’s eyes,

as in the absolute beauty of every sunrise and the privilege of participating in that,

as in riding a bike along a beautiful ocean coastline,

as in the thanks and gratitude I feel every single day to be living,

as in I will probably be the first in line to agree that life is a complex difficult process,

as in I still want to live as long as my quality of life outweighs the challenges of medicine and my participation in it. 

Comedy-drama 2019 Movie PADDLETON addresses some of your thoughts.

Take Care, DFK

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Accepting the inevitability of ones mortality is one thing   Accepting when that life ends is another.  This reminds me of a phrase made popular by Arya Stark in the Game of Thrones series.   It goes something like.  “There is only one thing we say to Death, Not Today”.

 

image.thumb.jpeg.2ad4e37103d2695fe0236e2adc8d4c03.jpeg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I opted for a new technique in heart bypasses in 2003. No worries about the artery they used for the bypass. No open chest. I was 50 years old and wasn't ready to cash in. I had a three year old and a wife to care for. I took the risk and I'm still here.

Fast forward to now. That daughter is a junior in college and our financial situation is greatly improved as I've moved to retirement. I've opted for SBRT with hopes that I can see my daughter graduate from college and love my family a while longer. I'm a selfish man.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Robb, I know I'm going to die. I don't want to live to 200. I do want to go on living so long as I can enjoy living. As DFK said, not fighting but utilizing science to improve the quality of my life.

I've never liked thinking of the way I'm living with cancer as a fight. Fighting is exhausting! Also, when someone dies, I don't like characterizing it as "She lost the fight".  It suggests that if she had only fought harder, she would still be alive.  I have known some people who have died of cancer who've been role models for me. They didn't die fighting. Nor dis they "throw in the towel". They died living their lives and enjoying them until the end. Sometimes they had to alter the way they did things due to their illness. For example, one woman  decided to find a new home for her horse because she no longer had the energy to ride and take care of it. She was able to continue her tango dancing, though--she could sit down and rest whenever she needed to. Another went on an adventure trip she'd been dreaming of, became ill and had to be airlifted out.  She said "oh well, I had good travel insurance," and soon she was off on another trip. 

None of us knows how long we have to live. I'm now NED on 3 primary cancers. I could have a recurrence of any of them, or I could be run over by a truck. This is all the more reason to live my life fully today and not waste my time. Just my thoughts!.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Robb,

Thanks for this post. I agree. In my experience, however, it is not me but my family that is uncomfortable when I mention the inevitability of dying, physician-assisted suicidal, etc. I get responses like this one from my sister: “I will support you no matter what you choose, but if it were me, I think I’d try to live as long as possible for my children and my family.” (I don’t have children, so this response is not quite as manipulative as it sounds.)
 

I truly wonder what percentage of patients going through treatment after treatment are doing it for themselves and what percentage are doing it mainly for others. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Robb. 
I don’t have cancer but my Mom does. Stage IV small cell. When she received her definitive diagnosis last March, I assumed that she would just say “OK, thank you very much for the information but I’ll pass on treatment”. She was just shy of 90 years old and had lived a great life on her owns terms. But low and behold, she said she would give treatment a try. Her main reason was my daughter was getting married in October and she wanted to be there. And she was there to witness and participate in the happy day. Her second reason is she has 2 daughters, 3 grand children, 4 great grandchildren and 1 great great granddaughter and by her owns words,  she isn’t ready to leave any of us just yet. Although she knows and accepts that her life will be ending she in no way feels that she’s had no control over her life. Trust me, she’s been in control the whole time. I guess it all comes down to how we define “control”. And from my point of view, she’s not burden to me or anyone else for that matter. But even if she were, I’d rather have her be a burden than just a memory. Just my 2 cents.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Robb,

If I understand your statement clearly, and I believe I do, it could be summed up as follows; "if you get sick, let it run its course, take pain meds and die as death is the inevitable end of all life anyway."

Unless I've misunderstood your statement, the flaw I find in it is that it doesn't accept that there are any alternatives between a short (untreated disease) life and a very long (unrealistic, e.g., 200 years) life.  That being said, it also ignores the possibility that living is more than just a selfish grasp on life that we live only for the sake of staying alive.  The former premise is wrong because one can greatly extend their life by accepting treatments for diseases that would have killed us years ago.  Why we even have vaccines now that can prevent disease that used to cause certain death at a young age as little as 80 years ago.  The latter statement is poorly based because many times our desire to survive a disease is to continue the relationships we consider so important to us.  They may be with spouses, children, parents, friends and often have resulted in our lives having meaning, beauty and happiness.  

So, in the end, if we are given a terminal diagnosis, then we should do what we can to accept it and live our best life until we pass away.  But for those that value all that life provides for us, fighting against a disease is not denying the mortality of humans and all living things, but rather a testament to the wonderful things that life has to offer for us and our loved ones.

That is how I look at it.

Lou

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...