LouT Posted November 7, 2020 Share Posted November 7, 2020 Steve, Thanks for the update. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, your wife and family. These are surely tough times for you and I hope you get your Christmas wish and even more. Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJM Posted November 7, 2020 Share Posted November 7, 2020 Steve. I may not post many replies to you but that doesn't mean I am not following your journey You have shared an incredible amount of really good information. It has been a tremendous help to me. Just wanted to share that. Here's to a white Christmas and many blessings. I am wishing you the best. Peace Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D iane Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 I too come in once in a while to check on you and your dear wife. I know how hard it is. Sending a virtual hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0621121974 Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 Thanks for the update. I am praying for you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyWifeSCLC Posted December 18, 2020 Author Share Posted December 18, 2020 Update: 3 months in hospice now. For a couple of weeks now, bowel movements have been difficult even though on stool softeners and no indication of constipation. Nurse is giving enemas and ... removing with fingers ... That was awful for both of us and perhaps a last straw for her. Pee has been dark also. Her apetite began failing and no longer drinking much. Been sleeping more and more and also more back pain and headaches. Nurse decided to come 3 days a week instead of 2 last Thu. I'm sure she suspected something now. Got up yesterday and she was just not feeling good and wanted Oxycodone and Tylenol for back pain which relaxed her somewhat. Also gave her Lorazepam which she also began taking a couple of weeks ago for anxiousness. Nurse got there and found heart rate in the 150s for 1st time in hospice with BP 90 something over 50 something. She had started coughing Monday afternoon just after the nurse had left. No indication on Monday that anything was wrong. I had missed her breathing being labored. The nurse asked for the "special package" sent when hospice started. Morphine to help with breathing ... I've read enough to know the symptoms but still a freaking shock. Nurse had just a few weeks ago thought maybe a couple of more months. She told me a few weeks now and that her body was shutting down Sucks doesn't even cut it ... I cried like a baby (not around her). It's obvious that I'm one of those that has to be knocked upside the face to come to terms with this ... anyway it's all about keeping her comfortable and she's pretty much zonked out. I'll keep posting ... As I have mentioned before perhaps this will help someone else when the time comes. Steve P.S. I guess the docs know what they know .. 2 to 4 months was what they said when she was sent home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BridgetO Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 Hi Steve, I'll be thinking of you during this difficult time, It's good that you're hanging in there by your wife's side as her caregiver while things are so hard. I hope that your wife can be pain-free and at peace and that you can be, also, as much as possible. Bridget O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJM Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 In my thoughts...both of you Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rower Michelle Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 We love you and will continue to keep you & the family in our prayers. Michelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJM Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 Steve Please continue posting if you can. We all have an expiration date...just us lungers have a bit more clarity. Be there for her. Talk. Comfort. Do the best you can. You dont need me to tell you this. My brother passed from lung cancer at a very young age, with me at his side. Peace Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LexieCat Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 Steve, We are all thinking of both of you and sending you strength and peace. I went through this with my mom in the hospital--I'm glad your wife can be at home in familiar, comforting surroundings. You're a great partner--I know how much this hurts but you're doing great. Hugs to you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaryG Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 Hi Steve: You bring back so many painful memories of watching the suffering of a person you love while not making any sense of it all and asking why does it have to be like this? At one point you just feel weightless, mindless and powerless but you still hang in to a faint hope that never comes. I remember going on guilt trips for not having the knowledge to help and learned that dealing with reality is difficult to learn. If it's any consolation to you, I assure you that one day you will look back and realize that you did the best you could and be proud that you were there for your wife every step of the way. She is in good hands with Hospice and that should give you a piece of mind. We are also here for you, as family and friends, thinking and praying for you and sending you love. I wish you the best my friend. GaryG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Galli Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 Steve, Thank you for your courage to persevere and for your forthright commentary on this sad episode. Your insight into this difficult time will help many. I pray for peace for both of you. Stay the course. Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D iane Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 So many kind words here. Hope that helps you if even a little bit. You do the best you can. I sometimes want to kick myself for not "knowing" how close death was for my husband. I am starting to move past those last few days. I don't see them as often now, 7 months later, going round and round in my mind. Just know I'm thinking about you and your dear wife wishing you both peace. Yes, and suck doesn't even begin to describe it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouT Posted December 18, 2020 Share Posted December 18, 2020 My prayers go up for you and your wife. I pray for you to have peace and for her to be as comfortable as is possible. Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyWifeSCLC Posted December 19, 2020 Author Share Posted December 19, 2020 I truly appreciate everyones kind words. This forum is outstanding! You guys have been there through all the different phases of my wife's cancer. Thank you all. Update: 2 weeks went to less the a week this morning which means Christmas may not happen. She woke up at 3:30 AM with a smile and was hungry. She ate a couple of bites of egg but was obviously having trouble so went to applesauce ... We talked some and watched the sun come up thru the window. About 8:30 AM her breath got really labored and hasn't said anything since. Man ... This can really happen fast. Her sister came over and she opened her eyes s a couple of times. Nurse came at 9:00 and cleaned her up, new catheter just in case and nothing but ice chips. Just a few hours ago she went from 0.25ml morphine every 2 hrs as needed to an additional 0.25 as needed every 2 hrs to 0.5ml every hour now which is not working. Will probably call the doc back to see if an increase is needed. We were told to watch her abdomen to see how hard she is working to breath. Just gave Atropine by mouth to try and dry up the gurgling rattle that began this morning. Nurse said this would not work 1st time but to try again in 2 hours. My opinion after watching my mom a few months ago ... Maybe 2 days. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJM Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 A hospice hero told us we would know the end was close when my brother would request something he hadnt asked for in weeks. A week before he passed he came into the living room and asked for Macdonald's. He hadnt eaten solid food in weeks. He ate it all. Peace Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaryG Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 Normally when the end is near they transport the patient to a Hospice facility where an IV is used for increased morphine dose so the patient goes to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyWifeSCLC Posted December 19, 2020 Author Share Posted December 19, 2020 Final update: My lovely wife of 34 years past away this morning at 6:39 AM. It shocked everyone including hospice! Our nurse did warn me that it was possible to happen in the next day or 2 but she really thought that we had more than 2 days with the "just under a week" comment. The morphine every hour never really got her labored breathing under control after my last post. The lorazepam every 2 hours helped for maybe 30 minutes but ultimately didn't really work either. She never opened her eyes but her breaths took longer and longer until she didn't take the next breath. I really was expecting the same thing that happened with my mom several months ago: eyes opening and closing and suddenly opening a final time and a soft moan over and above the gurgling sound. It shocked my sister in law and I because we were both expecting something else. My sister in law and I spent her last couple of hours telling her we loved her and that everything would be okay. I don't know that I will be back on the forum except maybe a few times in the coming days. Again, thanks everyone for the kind words. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaryG Posted December 19, 2020 Share Posted December 19, 2020 Steve: Sorry to hear of the passing of your wife. My sincere condolences to you and your family. I hope you find the strength to cope and deal with life without your wife . You did the best you could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LexieCat Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 I'm so sorry for your loss, Steve. You took wonderful care of her. This is such a cruel disease. Thanks for sharing with us--you are always welcome here, anytime you feel up to posting. Sending warm thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Galli Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 Steve, I morn your loss and pray for your peace. You’ll never know how beneficial your diligent telling of your beloved wife’s lung cancer experience will be to future diagnosed patients and their caregivers. May the Lord’s peace fill you and heal your spirit. Stay the course. Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BridgetO Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 Steve, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your wife was really fortunate-- you took such good care of her.. Thank you for all that you shared with us. I hope for comfort for you in your grief. Bridget O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blossomsmom Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 Steve, I am so sorry for your loss. The courage, strength, love and compassion you’ve shown during your wife’s journey is a testament to the kind of man you are. She is at peace now and I hope you will find peace as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just me Posted May 20, 2021 Share Posted May 20, 2021 Steve I lost my amazing husband September 30th 2020. I just visited the forums for the first time today and saw your post. I am so sorry for your loss. I hate this disease and pray the find a cure. Our experience with hospice was similiar to yours. They expected a week or more and he past in a few days. I wish you the best in the future days and hope you can find peace. Just me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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