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Anger about smokers


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My name to Rome and my husband was diagnosed today  with primary lung cancer. He found out he had lung cancer through a secondary Cancer. I am angry because he smoked a lot. He would tell me he was stressed. I told him to swim at a gym. Oh no, he was too busy for that. His grandfather, his father, and grandmother died of cancer in their 50’s.  He thought he dodge the bullet  because he was 57. I  am just glad he saw our son and daughter graduate from college. I’m going to see my husband diminished. I feel like a half pair of scissors and cheated. I am only 49 years old. 

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Hi Rome, I'm sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis.  First of all, there have been many advancements over the last few years and people are living longer - and really well - with lung cancer.  Here is "Lung Cancer 101" that is packed with information.  https://lungevity.org/for-patients-caregivers/lung-cancer-101

If you would like to talk through your feeling with someone, the HELPLine is a free service that is available.  https://lungevity.org/for-patients-caregivers/support-services/lung-cancer-helpline

Please let us know if there is anything we can do to support you.  

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  • 3 weeks later...


I can appreciate your feelings regarding smoking, but at this point you may be best served by focusing on helping your husband to get a clear diagnosis and a good treatment plan.  You will be an important part of his medical team because you can serve as his advocate if he is ill or too weak (e.g., after surgery) to ask questions.  Please understand what you can about the disease your husband is diagnosed with and feel free to come here and ask any question you like.  You'll find people here with every type of diagnosis from Stage I to Stage IV and many survivors.  

So please don't give up hope this disease is more treatable than it ever has been.


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