Guest Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 My poor Bill is just getting weaker and weaker. His stomach is very swollen and he is growing small surface tumors all over his abdomen. He is so tired and I am scared. The doctor says it is just the disease progression. They will check on Monday to see if he is strong enough for more treatment. I do not think he can take anymore. I want to die first. I don't want to go through this. I want him to die peacefully and I want him to be in a coma and not know that I died so he does not have to suffer through it. I cannot do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyridge Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 I'm sorry. I was not logged in. Is is me, holly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Holly, I'm sorry to hear Bill is struggling right now. Prayers going your way that he will be able to receive more treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debaroo Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Holly, I am so sorry that things have taken a bad turn. Maybe a rest from treatment is in order. Even just a week or two may give him more strength. I have no real answers, I wish I did. I have never actually heard of surface tumors, I hope that they are not painful. I can't imagine how difficult it is to have your partner go through this. I know that when my dad was diagnosed, and through the diagnosis, the worst part, aside from watching him deteriorate, was the helplessness that I felt. Please let us know how you both are doing, and if you need to 'talk' you can pm me, maybe we could link up on the 'chat' since it could be used at any time. Or if you feel there is someone else here that would better understand how it feels to be the spouce. The point is, we are here for you. I can only offer my prayers and support. I hope this is of some help, somehow. Please keep us updated as much as you can . Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe B Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 My Prayers are being expressed to our loving Father for you and Bill. Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Holly, so sorry Bill is not doing well. I know you are feeling not up to the task of seeing this through one way or another, but it is amazing how, with God's help, we can rise to the occasion. My wife and daughter doubted that I could muster the strength and desire to help my wife through the lung cancer, and they had good reason from my track record of running from illness. But I was able, with the Lord's help, to get the strength and energy to take care of her and be an advocate for her. I surprised everyone, including myself. We have more to give than we give ourselves credit for, I think. Hang in there. My prayers are with you. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick m Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 prayers for u and hope he can have more treatment............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 I am so sorry he is not doing well at this time. My prayers and thoughts are with you. I pray he can get more treatments soon. Remember we are all here for you. David C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Holly...My prayers are with you. I am going to PM you...so please check your messages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Holly, I just read your post and my heart goes out to you and Bill. I know as many others do how hard it is to take hold of the situation and to put your one foot in front of the other. I kept telling myself that it was such an honor to take care of my Buddy the best way I could. I cried a lot but I still carried on. I am still crying but I will get through it by the grace of God. Carry on is what you must do for that is the great gift we give our loved one in these times. We must put our feeling on the shelf for now and do the best we can for our loved ones as they would have done for us. If you need to talk, you can pm me anytime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest canuckwebgrrl Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Holly, I'm sorry you & Bill are going through this. Sending positive thoughts your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 I am so sorry you and Bill are having to go through this. My cousin had myloma and she had many serface tumors-first I ever heard of or saw. They diddn't seem to be painful. I pray God wil help you take it one day at a time with him to give you strength. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Dear Holly, I can really relate to you. So far Earl is holding his own, but I worry constantly about what might come. But I know, as others have stated, that is so important for him and our children that I remain strong and loving and caring. I know that Ada Waddell had surface tumors (she called them subcutaneous, spelling). Some were treated with surgery and others with chemo. Hold tight Holly, you are needed. Ginny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 Holly-You are doing the best job you can and I know he agrees. Just be there for him and ask God the Father for the strength. Prayers are being said for you- Love Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiny Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 Dear Holly and Bill My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope this is just a detour on the way to better days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 Holly, I am sorry that Bil is not doing well right now. Please keep the faith and believe. All of our prayers are answered, you and Bill are in my prayers... God Bless and hugs for you, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 Holly, I am so very sorry things have progressed the way that they have. Each night when my Bill is sleeping, I worry about his breathing and what tomorrow will bring...It IS difficult but they need us so very much. I will pray for both of you, Peg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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