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I feel quite disillusioned today. Don’t get near me


Scruboak

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Went for my one week post lobectomy appointment yesterday.  There is a large pleural effusion in the upper left lobe.  Surgeon wants to get back in there to drain it - she says it is just getting larger and there is no other solution. I wondered why I was doing so poorly with spirometer even though I used it a lot. She can’t do a repeat VATS though until I see the hematologist next week since I had a lot of delayed bleeding the day after surgery.  I just feel lousy today. I have no energy and the tears are just there behind my eyeballs. I know my hemoglobin is still low which can explain the lethargy and I understand now why it hurts with every breath. But Knowledge is not helping my pity party.  Plan to take my ibuprofen and just go back to bed. Thanks for listening. 

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Wow, what a drag!  I had low hemo from chemo (Tx for a non-lung cancer) and had no energy or stamina. I finally agreed to a transfusion of red blood cells and felt much, much better the next day. I haven't had any experience with pleural effusions, though. A lot of people on these forums have had them and probably some will share their experience. Hang in there, Scruboak.

Bridget O

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Hi Bridget and thank you for just “being there”. I had a good sleep ( and, of that , I am very thankful) and feel more human today. I reread the thoracic surgeon’s notes in which she clarified the effusion as a Hemothorax which I guess is just a pool of blood in the pleural lining.  It’s growing as if I have a slow leak there.  I’ve read of so many others on this site with greater problems to overcome than mine. My usual way of dealing with willfulness is to go on a nice hike which is impossible right now.  I look forward to being able to do so sometime in the not so distant future😉 Today I plan to wander around the property, meditate, accept. BTW I was given one unit of blood before I left the hospital which helped a lot.

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I was just going to mention a hemothorax as opposed to an effusion. In each of my three major thoracic surgeries, I had that condition and it was troubling but did wane. Thoracic surgery recovery is a process and while the direction is clear, the path meanders along the axis of advance for each of us. Stay up, walk, use the spirometer and you will get to recovery.

Stay the course.

Tom

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Thanks guys. I took a little hike today with the dogs. It had rained the night before and everything was fresh and beautiful.  This whole cancer thing is a process, isn’t it? There doesn’t seem to be any beginning or end and I am slowly (very slowly) learning a lot about myself in the meantime. 

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Very wise words.  No beginning and no clear end. In the book When Breath Becomes Air the author with lung cancer says something that stays with me. Something to the effect: before cancer you know you will die someday you don’t know when What doesn’t change after diagnosis is you know you will die and you still don’t know when. Enjoy every day you are here!

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