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Tbaker

I know I have cancer

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I have come to terms with having cancer and definitely will fight it but it seem like it's all I can think about and its consuming me. I have to figure out a way to stop this.

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I totally understand where you’re at right now.  I think most of us here do as well.   Feeling consumed is completely normal.  I know it’s hard and right now, the intensity of the emotion isn’t something you can will to stop.  There’s a gradual process with ups and downs. Eventually the ups outnumber the downs.  In the beginning this is an hour by hour process.  It took me six months and three CT scans before there was a sense of normalcy.  Try not to bottle up, if you want to cry, sob, if you want to yell, scream, angry-hit a pillow.   
 

Keep talking to us, we will be here to help along the way.   You can do it.  Believe in yourself.  
 

Michelle

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Thank you so much for your responce.  I know I have more than the will to fight this.  I have my husband and my 85 yr old father (lives with us) I have to take care of. Lord only knows what this place would look like if I weren't here.

Cry? I wish I could. Only time I've ever come close to it was my first day of chemo. 

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It's a roller coaster ride for sure. Initial diagnosis late on a Friday was a gut punch.  But after all the consults, tests and getting a treatment plan was very calming. I wont bore you with all the twists in my case but again, starting the treatment with finding its not nearly as horrible as I imagined also calmed me.

Now that I am nearing the end of my treatment I am feeling my stress level rise noticeably.  I think it's because once all the active treatment is finished I enter the unknown again. Will it come back and where? Plus always waiting on the next scan.

Embrace the good days and get thru the bad ones as best you can. You are not alone.

Peace

Tom

 

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Dear TBaker,

   Please know that each and every one of us felt exactly how you are feeling know when we first learned for our cancer diagnosis.  it was very overwhelming for me to be so sick so suddenly with no warning?  I only had two days of what I first though was "Vertigo" and on the third day ended up learning I had a brain tumor and was quickly in an ambulance on my way to a Neuro Unit at a large hospital.    I spend a week then and went through more tests that I can remember but in in the end I learned I have Stage IV Non Small Cell Lung Cancer, a brain tumor (a met from the Lung Cancer and also a Pulmonary Embolism).   

   I was devastated and thought for sure my days were very limited.   I still remember spending a lot of time online trying to "Google" info on Lung Cancer and statics (big mistake) because I've now learned that Dr. Google is not very good and has a lot of out dated and incorrect data.   I wish I had been as smart as you and immediately joined a large established Lung Cancer Group, like LUNGevity.  I didn't find LUNGevity until months  into my journey and it would have helped me SO much if I had found it early, as you have. 

    You've come to a wonderful group, full of very kind, caring and supportive people -- many of which are now long term survivors who are doing well.  If you had told me back in 2015 that I'd be alive today and doing what I am now,  I never would have believed it.  I've come so far and I'm so happy and feel very lucky.   But, I can also say it's not always easy and there will be good days and not so good days and lots of ups and downs.   But, I also knew that I wanted to "beat it" and I made up my mind very early on that I was going to do just that and also live each and every day to it's fullest.   I wish YOU the very best and hope you'll find comfort and support her and also from your family and friends.   

   Please reach out and know we all care and we really do understand.

   Sincerely,

   Lisa

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