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just me

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Hello everyone,

Brain meets were diagnosed. We quickly were transsfered to neurology and went from one oncologist to the surgeon for a biopsy. On Friday September 18th he walked into the hospital. Monday the 21st he was sent home after suffering through a craniotomy with a tumor resection.  It doesnt make sense to me because his lungs were inoperable, so why would they be able to operate on his brain?  By the 23 he could no longer hold a spoon to feed himself. Although radiation was offered we declined. I didnt feel he had enough left in him to handle more treatment.  Hospice began on Friday , one week after surgery and he went home to the Lord last night.  

Hospice was hard.  I dont know if anyone has had experience using them, or if our case was unusual.  We basically medicated my sweet husband 24/7 around the clock to make sure we kept the seizures under control. Then we slowly watched him die. Although he was surrounded by love, it was the hardest thing our family has ever done. Hospice quides but you  and is there for support but it is the family that provides the comfort care.

Prayers for everyone in this group and maybe someday they will find a cure.

Just me


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Just Me,

I am so very sorry to learn of your loss. Small cell is very difficult to manage and brain mets and treatment methods are difficult choices.

I can't offer an opinion on why no surgery for lung tumors but then approving a craniotomy. I suspect doctors believe small cell is so aggressive that surgery as a first line treatment rarely stops recurrence. The craniotomy may have been an attempt at palliative care to avoid intense pain. Brain tumors often cause intense pain and interrupt motor and mental abilities. 

When I was facing my end of life decisions, I recall reading how cancer's spread to the spinal cord and causes intense pain. I didn't want to feel that pain and my wife and I agreed the best hospice care would be done in our home with increasing amounts of morphine to ward off feeling the pain. We chose hospice because we didn't want to endure the rigors of treatment with very low probability of success. If your decision for hospice care controlled his seizures, you did the right thing. 

I know this experience was vastly hard for your family to endure. My faith fosters a belief that your husband is in a much better place now. Thank you for being a loving wife and superb caregiver for your husband, a lung cancer survivor.

Stay the course.


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My sincere condolences to you and your family.

It's a tough cancer.  Please reach out if you need me.  I hope I was of some guidance to you.  We were on such a similar journey.

I too believe you did the right thing declining radiation.  Especially after surgery.  We were never offered that procedure, nor were we referred to neurology.  I can only speculate it was to either confirm small cell mets, or another primary.  Maybe it was because of the tumor size they saw on the MRI.  Mets are usually very small, maybe he had a larger lesion?  At any rate, perhaps the pathology they have now will help another patient.

I am so sorry for your loss.

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My condolences to you and your family. Your husband's decline and passing happened so quickly. 

I agree that sometimes in-home hospice care can be little more than a medicine cabinet for the family to administer, particularly when there is so little time left. But as Tom mentioned, by controlling his seizures, you kept your husband as comfortable as possible to the end. 

I hope as time goes by, you and your family can achieve peace with your husband's passing and take comfort in your memories of him. 

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I am so sorry for your loss and for the pain you and your family endured.  Take comfort in the fact that you were able to spare your husband the seizures and surround him with love.   


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  • 2 weeks later...

I am so sorry for your loss. I experienced first hand what went through when my first wife died of cancer at Hospice. She was on morphine for 36 hours and I couldn't communicate with her. It was a lonely feeling and helpless time because there is nothing you can do. I hope you will be at peace soon with your loss and take comfort that you took good  care of him. It happened to me one day.

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