norme Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 I want to thank each and everyone of you who have left messages on this board for me, who have e-mail me, called me on the phone, those who sent cards and also sent memorials to various places in Buddy's name. None of you will ever know how great all of this has helped me recover a little. When I am feeling down, I think of all your strengths. Those who are fighting for a cure, those who are helping others fight. Someday, somehow, there will be a cure and I pray it will be soon for each of you. It will be two weeks tomorrow that my life changed but for some strange reason at times it seems like a lifetime ago. I miss him so very very much. I tell everyone that I don't need to wash my clothes for the tears are doing that everyday. How does one go from 46 years plus 5 to 0. I sure don't know. I am sure I will never know. I will just go on each day with part of me gone. Oh God, I loved him so much. He told me I was strong and could carry on without him. He was so wrong. I am not strong and I have no choice but to carry on. I have placed his wedding band on my left finger and will leave it there till the day I meet him again. Funny things are happening here at home. Today I got in his desk and found a paper he had explaining Rainbow Bridge. I thought we heard that on TV or something but here he had read it to me one day not so long time ago. It is really a place that one goes to pick up all their beloved animals they have had in a life time and Buddy said to me back then,"we will meet there, for I will wait for you on the bridge, - - don't be to long for I will miss you." Yesterday I had to change the water filter system. I took over that job when Buddy took sick. Never had a problem until now. I changed the filters in the cylinders and put the two back together, turned on the water and it came out from all over. I tried three times to get it to work without leaking and it just wouldn't. I got mad, told God or Buddy to help me. I put the cylinders back on for the fourth time and they worked. Not sure who helped but feel it was my Buddy. I am going to bed now and will again say all the special prayers for each and everyone of you. You all are my hero's You all are what will make me get back up tomorrow by the grace of God and get through another day. Love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaMRG Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 ((((((((((((((((((((Sweet Norme))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hugging you through tears sending you love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Dear Norme, My heart is aching for you. I wish I could say something which would make you feel better but words are inadequate. I think of being without my David and I don't know how I will bear it...but we do, don't we, we have to, for what is the alternative? God Bless you Norme and I will be praying for your comfort and peace. I am sure Buddy is watching over you. Love, Paddy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Dear Norma My sincere condolences to you. I lost my beloved wife to cancer three years ago and it is still fresh in my heart. I remember the numb pain and the crushing sense of loss. I also experienced a feeling of communication on occasions. I still mourn her and talk to her but the sharpest of pain has softened and now I tell her that I’m getting closer to joining her. “All things pass, this too shall pass away”. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea B. Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Dear Sweet Norme, Through tears I am reading your message. I can not begin to imagine your pain, but I can feel the love you and Buddy shared. One day again you will meet. Please know we are all here for you and come back often. My heart goes out to you. Hugs and love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCarl Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Norme, You are in my thoughts daily. I look for your posts when I log on here just to know that you are doing as well as can be expected. How do you cope after being with someone for so long? I don't know, but I know people do, somehow. My Mom had to do it after being married to my Dad for 38 years. And, somehow, she did. Yea, the rainbow bridge is for animals ... but nobody ever said a people type person can't hang out there for awhile. I know Buddy will be there when God decides it's time for you two to be together again. And I'll tell you a little secret. If things go the way the docs predict with me I want to hang out there a bit myself. Buddy sounds like someone I could spend some time with. In the meantime I'm saying some prayers that your pain will turn to fond memories of what you and Buddy shared. Dean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David P Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Hey there Norme. What a beautiful post. Hang in there - you are stronger than you give yourself credit for -- and if you feel like leaning on anyone's shoulde for support, well you have over 900 pairs of shoulders to choose from. Take care Norme. David P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Norme, My heart goes out to you. I wish I could just reach over and give you a gentle hug and let you know I am here for you... You are in my prayers always... God Bless you always... Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Dear Norme, Cry a river, fill an ocean, tears are always at the ready when the heart is near breaking, from the loss of a lifetime love. Shoulders are there, but not the one we want or need but they help in moment of need. Tears are always there when you least suspect them, they keep coming after you think it is impossible to have anymore left. Strength is by going one minute at the time, till it make a day, a week.........and months, but the pain is always there. Hope is looking for a good day with good souvenirs and a few furtive smiles from memories of past times and feeling the presence of the love one near us. Love J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Norme - I'm glad to see you posting. ((((((((HUGS))))))))) I think Buddy was right. You are stronger than you know. I'm sure he's watching you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Sweet Norme, I know its so hard, I just left my mom in Florida and like you her heart is so shattered, she told my dad she was suppose to go first, because she couldnt bare life without him. I am glad you can find some comfort here, I know it helps me, we are here for you Norme.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carla Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Hi. I am new to this board but one of the first posts I remember reading was one not long ago about a good day you and Buddy had had, and it stuck in my mind, so I was very sad to read the recent news. I can tell that you guys had something very very special. Maybe another reason you guys stuck in my mind is that my parents had just celebrated THEIR 46th anniversary about 2 weeks before my dad's diagnosis. Anyway, I wanted to pass on my best wishes and will pray for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Dear Norme, When you get up in the morning, know how much you are loved by us. XOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 And, Norme, when you lay your head on the pillow at night, know that all of us here are thinking about you. You are truly loved by alot of people here. Ginny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 Dearest Norme I read your post and I remember those first few weeks when it seemed that everything I saw, touched or heard could only remind me of how much I have lost. It is a pain like no other I have felt in my life and I know that is surely how you feel. You still have so much love to give to him but he is no longer there to recieve it so you don't know what to do with it or how to cope with that emptiness inside of you. Still tho the emptiness is there the pain is too how can we have both at the same time? No one will ever understand that until they lose someone who is so much a part of themselves. The tears are replenishable so never feel the need to stop them. Sometimes we need that to wash away even just a little of the pain. I had so much trouble sleeping. Each morning I woke more tired than when I went to bed. I felt like I had been thinking all night and not slept at all because when I woke the same thoughts and pain that I went to bed with were still there. It was so hard for me because Johnny liked to snuggle together and being alone with no one to snuggle made me feel like I would never be able to sleep restfully again. I decided on the second night after he died to take his robe to bed with me. I hadn't washed it and his scent was still on it. I could snuggle that and smell him that was the only way I could make it through the night. If you have something like that of Buddy's maybe you can do the same. It helps believe me. Even tho it has been washed many times now I still use his robe to help me get to sleep at night. Your Buddy is still with you Norme. You may not see him but he is there watching and helping you through the days. The rainbow bridge is just behind that thin vail that seperates us from those who have gone ahead. When I posted the song "Beyond the Sunset" for you it had been going through my mind for days. It so describes how we feel at this time. It reminds me too that when the time comes my Johnny will be waiting for me beyond the sunset just as your Buddy will be. I still have days when the pain threatens to overwhelm me and it has been nearly 15 months now. When I get to my worse place I come to this board for support and always find it waiting for me. I also ask Johnny to help me and somehow he always does. It may be only a sudden sharp memory of the sparkle in his eyes when he said "I love you Darlin" or sometimes something more intense happens. One night I know that he came to me and once again spoke to me and snuggled me through the night. When I have dreams now that are so disconected and make little sense I remember that night. Dreams do not make you feel like I did that night and I can remember very little of my dream the next day but that has been over a year and it is still as sharp in my mind as it was that first night. Just keep talking to him Norme. He hears you and he knows better than anyone what is in your heart. May God Bless you and give you a few moments of peace just a little at a time until they start to grow into hours then maybe someday you will know peace until you too reach that rainbow bridge beyond the sunset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natalie Posted February 26, 2004 Share Posted February 26, 2004 You are an amazing woman. Your strength and insight inspires me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Norme, You express yourself so well and I know what you mean about telling God or Buddy to help you. Seemed like everything broke aftr my former husband passed and I was forever telling him to show me how to fix it or wish I had paid more attention to how he did some things, especially caring for the flowrs and yard he loved so much. Like someone else said, cry when you need to. the tears won't run dry. Come to this board and know we are waiting to help in any way we can. You may not feel it now but Buddy was right when he told you how strong you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyCW Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Norme, I'm another one who remembers getting to know you soon after arriving here through that wonderful message you posted about Buddy's wonderful, terrific day. I look for your posts all the time, and they mean so much to me. To see how strong your love is for Buddy, and his for you... well, it just makes me feel like it's a touch of God here on earth. I am praying for you, and I wish I could come for a visit, make a pot of tea, and listen to Buddy stories for an afternoon. ((((((hugs to you))))) BeckyCW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Norme - Just know that we are here... and that I strongly believe Buddy is with you each and every moment. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for - God Bless you. Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy O. Posted February 27, 2004 Share Posted February 27, 2004 Oh Norme, I know that Buddy is still there with you and will always be. I would love to be able to give you a giant hug or twenty to let you know that I am here for you too. My love to you big time. Nancy O. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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