Jesse L. Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 So my story is maybe like many others, but it is definitely new to me... I'm a 64 yr. old male who tries to stay in good shape, never drank any alcohol, and quit smoking a couple years ago. An annual CT scan showed a single 2 cm. by 1.4 cm. spot on my lower right lobe back in mid December. Seemed pretty small to me but my Dr. insisted I get it checked. Next was a PET scan which showed no light up. Then through a bronchoscopy I had a biopsy done and sure enough it was diagnosed stage 1a adenocarcinoma. Next came the surgery to remove the lower right lobe and wouldn't you know it while the surgeon was in there he noted two irregular lymph nodes. Well, he took those out too and after testing them it is now determined that I'm a stage 3a. This is getting better right along...not!! Well, at least I learned today that through a brain MRI and a full body scan there is no other evidence of any cancer mass; thats a good thing. So now per my tumor board team I'm looking at 4 rounds of a Cisplatin/Pemetrexed cocktail just to possibly take care of any loose little cancer cells roaming around my lymphatic system looking for a home. In just 3 months I feel as if I've gone from a viable human to a broken down sickly human ghost. How can I help but feel this way when I see the commercials on TV showing barely alive people on their last days proclaiming how they should have lived healthier rather than dieing horribly at a young age... And the Dr. who gave me the news of 3a didn't help matters either; he honestly looked at me as if I was dead man walking when he told me that. Worse than that he continued in his speech looking for me to break down somehow; it was some really bad bedside manner. Don't get me wrong; I'm bummed enough about all this and I sure don't need any help in that regard. In any case I'm just trying to do the best I can to get through this... When all is thought and said, what else is there... I would appreciate any thoughts people can give me on expected side affects and how does one cope with the fear of recurrence. I don't want to go through all this only to do it again... And then again why would I be special in that it should never happen to me again. All the things I read on this forum tells me that recurrence can happen to anyone. Sometimes it just seems so depressing...and overwhelming!!! Please everyone just keep writing so I know you care...it is appreciated more than you know. TJM 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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